How to use a sex toy as a heterosexual couple?

Would you like to add a little spark to your intimate life? Give a new impulse to your momentstogether?

The sextoy is a wonderful ally for rekindling your complicity and sensuality.

 

It is the perfect object for discovering new sensations, exploring new pathways to pleasure and bringing a breath of fresh air to your shared sensuality. Because while vibrators and other intimate toys make wonderful companions for solo exploration, they also slip beautifully into couples' intimacy.

With all the models available on the market, making the right choice can feel overwhelming, especially if you are exploring this world for the very first time.

Welcome to the couples' sextoy guide!

Why use a sextoy as a couple? 

Despite all the awareness that exists, certain misconceptions persist around the use of sextoys as a couple, particularly within heterosexual couples. Both men and women can sometimes feel uncertain about introducing an object into their intimate life. When their partner raises the subject, they may feel they are not performing well enough, that they are somehow "not enough".

If you feel this applies to you, we invite you to shift your perspective on using a sextoy as a couple. Approach the subject through an entirely different lens.

The sextoy is not your adversary — it is not there to compete with you or overshadow you. It is an object in the service of your pleasure and your shared complicity. You are the one who picks it up and decides when and how to use it with your partner.

In fact, according to an Ifop survey conducted in 2017, 45% of French people have already used a sextoy as a couple. Since then, the conversation has only continued to grow.

Beyond pleasure itself, introducing a sextoy into your intimate life as a couple brings many wonderful benefits:

• You break free from routine and familiar patterns. They may be deeply satisfying, but a breath of fresh air will do you the world of good.

• You discover new sensations, perhaps even new erogenous zones whose potential you never imagined.

• You explore your partner's body through a new lens.

• You strengthen your connection and your bond of trust by sharing intense moments together.

If you have been hesitating to invest in a couples' sextoy, perhaps you are ready to take the leap?

How to choose a couples' sextoy?

Now that you are ready for this new sensual adventure, you can set out in search of the sextoy model or models that will make you tremble with delight. Finding the object that will truly please both you and your partner is not always simple.

We warmly invite you to approach the subject openly with your other half. Ask yourselves honestly what your expectations are in terms of sensations and experience. Your answers to these questions will guide your choice:

• Would you like to experience pleasure at the same time, or take turns? 

• What type of stimulation would you like to explore? 

• Who will be in control of the sextoy? 

• What aesthetic do you prefer? Something realistic or more playful? 

• Are you looking for a fixed sextoy or a vibrator? 

• What about a remotely controlled vibrator? 

Take the time to browse through the different options available to you. There are dozens of models with different promises, different price ranges and guarantees.

If you have any particular contraindications, make sure the sextoy you choose is respectful of your health. Note that sextoys made from medical-grade silicone are especially gentle on mucous membranes and skin.

Couples' sextoy: choosing the right model 

Sextoys for women 

The first type of sextoys you can explore are those that stimulate feminine anatomy exclusively. You can of course use them as a couple, especially by letting your partner take control!

There are two main categories of feminine sextoys:

• The vaginal stimulators with a penetrating component (vibrating or not) that primarily stimulates the invisible part of the clitoris and the famous G-spot.

• So-called "clitoral" stimulators that also stimulate the external part of the clitoris through various techniques: pulsed air, vibration or "flapping", for an ultra-realistic oral-like effect.

These sextoys can also feature a penetrating component (known as double stimulation), which you can choose to use or not. Our personal favourite: the rabbit vibrator, a timeless classic for decades, and one that has already proven its worth.

You can absolutely use this type of sextoy for solo pleasure or incorporate it into your shared moments as a couple. Some models, like vibrating eggs, even come with a remote control to manage the vibrations from a distance. A wonderful way to explore your sensuality and let your partner take the reins of your pleasure.

Sextoys for men 

Other sextoys are dedicated to masculine pleasure. They are less well known in a couples' context, as penile and prostatic stimulation remain somewhat taboo. And yet these objects open the door to discovering all the sensations your body is capable of offering you.

If you already know what you enjoy, finding a model that suits you will come naturally. Just like feminine sextoys, these intimate toys can easily find their way into your shared moments as a couple. There are several types: 

• The penile masturbators that mimic masturbation through mechanical movement or vibration. For more targeted stimulation, we recommend the frenulum stimulation sextoys from Manwan, which open up new horizons of pleasure!

• The iconic cockring, to be placed at the base of the penis for an enveloping sensation of pleasure that intensifies and prolongs the experience.

• The penis pumps and penis sleeves, designed to enhance erection and size.

The essential thing is to identify the sensations you love, the gestures or touches that bring you the most pleasure.

If you're not quite sure yet, don't hesitate to talk it over with your partner, explore the different models together, discuss what you feel ready to try right away and what you'd prefer to revisit later. Take things at your own pace, without any pressure. There is no obligation to rush ahead.

Couples' sextoys

Why choose between your pleasure and that of your partner or partners? Couples' sextoys are designed to share the experience, explore together and synchronise sensations, whatever the shape of your relationship.

Couples' vibrators

Among the must-haves, the couples' vibrator with an insertable part and a section dedicated to clitoral stimulation holds a central place. Designed to be worn during intimacy, it allows simultaneous stimulation of both internal and external zones, while leaving complete freedom of movement. It is an excellent choice for those who wish to amplify shared pleasure (or more), without interrupting the moment.

Penile rings

Some models of penile rings (cockring) are equipped with a vibrating extension designed to stimulate the clitoris (externally and/or internally depending on the model). They encourage shared stimulation and can also contribute to prolonging pleasure.

The strap-on: exploration and inclusivity

The strap-on is an iconic sextoy, cherished between women, but also in the context of pegging or any exploration of different roles and dynamics. Harnesses and strap-less designs allow you to step outside traditional patterns, explore new forms of pleasure and, for some partners, discover or rediscover prostatic pleasure within a framework of trust and complicity.

At 1969, we invite you to venture off the beaten path, to listen to your desires and explore all the richness your body has to offer. As a couple, pleasure is a shared journey: freer, more inclusive, more intense. If you feel ready and at ease, certain sextoys can truly take you to seventh heaven.

Our tips for using a sextoy as a couple 

Whatever sextoy model you choose, one golden rule applies: you must both be fully in agreement and enthusiastic about trying this new experience. Shared pleasure always begins with consent, listening and a mutual desire to explore together.

Here are some expert tips to make the moment perfect: 

• Before you begin, remember to fully charge your sextoy if it is a motorised model. Nothing quite kills the mood like a flat battery… A little preparation is already a way of caring for your shared moment.

• Using a lubricant compatible with your toy is equally essential. It enhances sensations, makes the experience more comfortable and protects both your body and your sextoy. We recommend choosing a water-based lubricant, especially if your sextoy is made of silicone.

• During the experience, communicate. The sextoy is a wonderful tool, but it is no substitute for connection. Don't hesitate to guide your partner, to express what you enjoy, to adjust the intensity, to speed up or slow down according to your respective feelings. Being attuned to the other's reactions deepens your complicity and heightens pleasure.

• After use, take the time to clean your sextoy thoroughly. A rinse with clean water and a pH-neutral soap, or the use of a specialist cleanser, will clean and sanitise your toy. Dry it carefully and store it in a clean, dry place until next use.

And if the experience has delighted you, don't stop there. Try out different modes and intensities, change the setting, explore other models or new sensations. The sextoy opens up a true world of possibilities, where curiosity, pleasure and creativity know no bounds.

A whole new world awaits you: yours to explore, at your own pace, hand in hand.