How to use a sex toy as a heterosexual couple?

Would you like to add a spark to your intimate life? Breathe new energy into your momentstogether?

The sextoy is a wonderful ally for rekindling your intimacy and sensuality.

 

It is the perfect object for discovering new sensations, exploring new pathways to pleasure and breathing new life into your shared sexuality. For while vibrators and other intimate toys make wonderful companions for solo exploration, they slip just as beautifully into a couple's intimate moments.

With all the models available on the market, making the right choice can feel daunting, especially if you are exploring this world for the very first time.

Welcome to the couples' sextoy guide!

Why use a sextoy as a couple? 

Despite all the education available on the subject, certain misconceptions persist around the use of sextoys as a couple, particularly within heterosexual couples. Both men and women can sometimes feel uncertain about introducing an object into their intimate life. When their partner raises the subject, they may feel as though they are not performing well enough, as if they are somehow "not enough".

If this resonates with you, we invite you to shift your perspective on using a sextoy as a couple. Approach the subject through an entirely different lens.

The sextoy is not your rival — it is not there to compete with you or overshadow you. It is an object in service of your pleasure and your bond as a couple. You are the ones who take it in hand and decide when and how to use it with your partner.

In fact, according to an Ifop survey conducted in 2017, 45% of French people have already used a sextoy as a couple. Since then, the conversation has only continued to grow.

Beyond pleasure, introducing a sextoy into your intimate life as a couple offers a wealth of benefits:

• You step out of your routine and your usual intimate patterns. They may well be deeply satisfying, but a breath of fresh air will do you the world of good.

• You discover new sensations, perhaps even new erogenous zones whose potential you never suspected.

• You explore your partner's body through a new lens.

• You strengthen your connection and your bond of trust by sharing intense, meaningful moments.

If you have been hesitating to invest in a couples' sextoy, perhaps you are ready to take the leap?

How to choose a couples' sextoy?

Now that you are ready for this new sensual adventure, you can begin your search for the sextoy model or models that will set your senses alight. Finding the object that truly pleases both you and your partner is no small feat.

We warmly encourage you to broach the subject openly with your partner. Ask yourselves honestly what you are hoping for in terms of sensations and experience. Your answers will guide your choice:

• Would you like to experience pleasure simultaneously or take it in turns? 

• What type of stimulation would you like to explore? 

• Who will be in control of the sextoy? 

• What aesthetic do you prefer? Something more realistic, or something playful and colourful? 

• Are you thinking of a non-vibrating sextoy or a vibrator? 

• What would you say to a remotely controlled vibrator? 

Take the time to browse the many options available to you. There are dozens of models offering different promises, different price ranges and guarantees.

If you have any particular contraindications, ensure that the sextoy you choose is suitable for your health. Please note that sextoys made from medical-grade silicone are especially gentle on mucous membranes and skin.

Couples' sextoy: choosing the right model 

Sextoys for women 

The first type of sextoys you can explore are those designed to stimulate female anatomy exclusively. You can of course use them as a couple, especially by letting your partner take control!

There are two broad categories of feminine sextoys:

• The vaginal stimulators with a penetrative element (vibrating or not) that primarily stimulates the hidden part of the clitoris and the famous G-spot.

• So-called "clitoral" stimulators that also stimulate the external part of the clitoris through a variety of techniques: pulsed air, vibration or "flapping", for an ultra-realistic cunnilingus-like effect.

These sextoys can also feature a penetrative element (known as double stimulation), which you may choose to use or not. Our personal favourite: the rabbit vibrator, a timeless classic for decades that has already proven its worth.

You can absolutely use this type of sextoy for solo pleasure or incorporate it into your time together as a couple. Some models, such as vibrating eggs, even come with a remote control to manage the vibrations from a distance. A wonderful way to explore your sexuality and let your partner take the reins of your pleasure.

Sextoys for men 

Other sextoys are dedicated to male pleasure. They are less well known in a couples' context, as penile and prostatic stimulation remain somewhat taboo subjects. And yet these objects offer the chance to discover every sensation your body is capable of feeling.

If you already know what you enjoy, finding a model that suits you will come naturally. As with feminine sextoys, these intimate toys can effortlessly find their way into your shared moments as a couple. There are several types: 

• The penile masturbators that mimic masturbation through mechanical movement or vibration. For more targeted stimulation, we recommend the frenulum stimulation sextoys from Manwan, which open up new horizons of pleasure!

• The iconic cockring, worn at the base of the penis for an enveloping sensation that intensifies and extends pleasure.

• The penis pumps and penis sleeves, which help to enhance erection and volume.

The key is to identify the sensations you enjoy, the gestures or touches that bring you the most pleasure.

If you are not yet entirely sure, don't hesitate to talk it over with your partner. Explore the different models together, discuss what you feel ready to try right away and what you would prefer to save for later. Go at your own pace, without any pressure. There is absolutely no obligation to rush ahead.

Couples' sextoys

Why choose between your own pleasure and that of your partner or partners? Couples' sextoys are designed to share the experience, explore together and synchronise sensations, whatever your relationship configuration.

Vibrators for couples

Among the essentials, the couples' vibrator with an insertable part and a part dedicated to clitoral stimulation holds a central place. Designed to be worn during intimacy, it allows simultaneous stimulation of internal and external zones, while leaving complete freedom of movement. It is an excellent choice for those who wish to amplify shared pleasure (or more), without interrupting the moment.

Cock rings

Certain models of cock rings (cockring) are equipped with a vibrating extension designed to stimulate the clitoris (externally and/or internally depending on the model). They encourage shared stimulation and can also help to prolong pleasure.

The strap-on: exploration and inclusivity

The strap-on is an iconic sextoy, cherished between women, but also in the context of pegging or any exploration of roles and different dynamics. Harnesses and strapless designs allow you to step beyond traditional patterns, to explore new forms of pleasure and, for some partners, to discover or rediscover prostatic pleasure within a space of trust and intimacy.

At 1969, we invite you to step off the beaten path, to listen to your desires and explore all the richness your body has to offer. As a couple, pleasure is best savoured together: freer, more inclusive, more intense. If you feel ready and at ease, certain sextoys can truly carry you to new heights of bliss.

Our tips for using a sextoy as a couple 

Whatever model of sextoy you choose, one golden rule applies: you must both be in agreement and genuinely enthusiastic about trying this new experience. Shared pleasure always begins with consent, attentiveness and a mutual desire to explore together.

Here are a few expert tips to make the moment perfect: 

• Before you begin, remember to fully charge your sextoy if it is a motorised model. Nothing quite kills the mood like a flat battery… A little preparation is already an act of care for your shared moment.

• Using a lubricant compatible with your toy is equally essential. It enhances sensation, makes the experience more comfortable and protects both your body and your sextoy. We recommend opting for a water-based lubricant, especially if your sextoy is made of silicone.

• During the experience, communicate. The sextoy is a wonderful tool, but it is no substitute for connection. Don't hesitate to guide your partner, to express what you enjoy, to adjust the intensity, to speed up or slow down according to your respective feelings. Being attentive to the other's responses deepens intimacy and magnifies pleasure.

• After use, take the time to thoroughly clean your sextoy. A rinse with clean water and a pH-neutral soap, or the use of a specialist cleanser, will clean and sanitise your toy. Dry it carefully and store it in a clean, dry place until next time.

And if you enjoyed the experience, don't stop there. Try out different modes and intensities, change the setting, explore other models or other sensations. The sextoy opens up a truly boundless field of possibility, where curiosity, pleasure and creativity know no limits.

A whole new world awaits you: yours to explore, at your own pace, hand in hand.