Guide

The idea of introducing sex toys into your relationship has been turning over in your mind for several weeks now, perhaps even months. You see it as an opportunity to bring new energy to your intimacy, break the routine, explore new experiences… There's just one shadow over the idea: you don't dare bring it up with your partner. Not because they're closed-minded, but because you're afraid of stirring up insecurities, of having your intention misread. That's quite common. And indeed, if you'd like to use a sex toy as a couple, there is a right (and a wrong) way to put the idea on the table.  Here is a guide to help you think it through and bring it up with your partner in the best possible conditions.  Sex toys as a couple: what hesitations might your partner have?  What if your partner felt like they were competing with the sex toy?  It's one of the objections that comes up most often when one partner wants to introduce sex toys into the relationship: "I'm not enough for you," "you need more," "you're not fulfilled with me and you didn't dare tell me"… Your partner reads your suggestion as an implicit message: they think you're not satisfied in your intimate life. As we mentioned earlier, this is a common scenario: your other half fears that the object will give you sensations they can't.  It's therefore essential to choose the right moment to bring up sex toys as a couple and to put forward the right arguments (we explain how a little further below). Even if it seems obvious to you, it's absolutely vital to put the idea of shared pleasure into words. The sex toy is simply a tool to lead you both toward new sensations. You can enjoy yourselves together, discover things as a pair, without competing with the toy. The sex toy replaces no one — it is purely "a playful and completely erotic instrument" as psychoanalyst and sexologist Valentina Bracciale likes to remind us. Reigniting performance anxiety Performance anxiety is very common within couples. While it often manifests more acutely in men, women are by no means spared. In a few words, performance anxiety is the fear of failure transposed to sexuality. You fear not being enough, not bringing your partner to climax, not measuring up — or going too far… Sexual standards are rooted in pornography: we're talking not only about performance but also about very specific physical ideals associated with beauty and desirability. You may not even realize it, but this content, consumed without a critical eye, can fuel your sexual anxiety. Try to free yourself from it and return to your own reality, reinventing the codes of an intimacy that truly fulfills you both, far from the pressure of orgasm at any cost. Introducing a sex toy into your relationship is precisely the opportunity to rethink your sexuality — an invitation to do things differently. Besides, you don't have to start with a penetrative model. Wand sex toys (massagers) are perfect for exploring your partner's erogenous zones, gently and at your own pace. When you're both ready, you can turn to other models and go even further! Sex toys as a couple: what if it's simply a fear of the unknown?  Sometimes, hesitation has nothing to do with performance or jealousy. It comes down simply… to the unknown. That's only human. As soon as something steps outside the familiar, the mind conjures a thousand scenarios: What if I don't know how to use it? What if it feels strange? What if I do something wrong? What if we're disappointed? Sex toys still carry a somewhat mysterious image, almost intimidating. People imagine them as technical, complicated, reserved for the initiated. In reality, they are above all designed to be intuitive and playful. When the time comes to bring up the subject with your partner, the key is precisely to defuse that pressure. This isn't a goal to be achieved, much less a performance to pull off. Nobody expects anything. There is no result to obtain. You can simply present the idea as a shared curiosity. A way of saying: "I don't know this world all that well either, but I'd love for us to discover it together." That approach changes everything. It transforms the object into a shared territory of exploration, rather than an accessory laden with expectations. Searching for your first sex toy can itself become a full experience in its own right. Browsing the different categories, comparing models, talking about what intrigues or attracts you. All of that is already part of the game. And if you'd like some reassurance, there are plenty of educational resources available today: user reviews, detailed product pages, specialist blogs, sexuality podcasts, FAQs that answer the most frequently asked questions. There's no obligation to know everything at once. Discovery is part of the pleasure. The keys to a successful conversation about sex toys  Choosing the right moment  The moment you choose to bring up the subject matters a great deal. A conversation about intimacy calls for a minimum of emotional availability. If either of you is tired, stressed, or preoccupied, there's a good chance the message won't land the way you'd hoped. Ideally, choose a calm moment when you're both relaxed. A quiet evening at home, a conversation after dinner, a walk where the words come naturally. Some situations are, however, less favorable: right after making love, right after an argument, during a moment of vulnerability or tension, in a very intense phase of seduction. Why? Because the conversation could be misread. After making love, your partner might think something wasn't satisfying. After an argument, the conversation could turn defensive. The best approach remains a neutral moment, when you simply feel like connecting. The idea isn't to deliver a grand, solemn speech, but to open a natural conversation. An idea slipped into the flow of dialogue, a shared curiosity, a reflection on sexuality. Like so many subjects in a relationship, it often comes down to timing. Highlighting the shared benefits of sex toys as a couple  When you bring up the idea of a sex toy as a couple, it's essential to make clear that this isn't a personal project. It isn't something you want for yourself. It's something you'd like to explore together. Simply explain what draws you to the idea. Perhaps the desire to discover new sensations, to add a spark to your intimacy, to step gently outside your routine. Perhaps also a sense of curiosity about a world you've yet to fully explore. Your partner knows you. They know how you work. If you explain your intentions with sincerity, it will be much easier for your other half to understand what you're truly after. All the more so since sex toys are now widely embraced. A study conducted by IFOP indicates, for example, that 69% of French people who have already used a sex toy as a couple believe it had a positive impact on their sexual pleasure. That figure simply serves as a reminder: this isn't a marginal or selfish endeavor. For many couples, it's simply a new way of nurturing their intimacy. Respecting your partner's pace and concerns  A successful conversation is never a monologue. When you bring up this subject, it's essential to give your partner space to express themselves. Their questions, their doubts, their reactions are all part of the process. Perhaps the conversation will unfold exactly as you imagined, or perhaps it will take an unexpected turn. Your partner might be curious, enthusiastic, surprised, or on the contrary a little hesitant at first. All of that is perfectly normal. The important thing is to listen without trying to convince at all costs. The goal isn't to win a debate but to open a dialogue. It's also possible that your partner won't know what to say in the moment. Some ideas simply need time to find their way. Sometimes the conversation stops there… and resurfaces a few days or weeks later. And that's often how discussions around intimacy evolve within a relationship. In any case, avoid applying pressure. Don't set deadlines, don't constantly bring the subject back up. Simply let the idea exist. Your partner might very well come back to you later with curiosity. Take it step by step, together  If your partner is open to the idea, there's no need to rush. One of the worst approaches would be to arrive at the conversation with a sex toy already purchased, placed on the table as a foregone conclusion. You could, for instance, browse a specialist site together, explore the different categories, talk about what intrigues or attracts you. Some models might raise a smile; others might spark a genuine curiosity. And that's perfectly fine. It's also possible that your partner would prefer to start gently. For example: trying a sex toy on yourself first, then share your experience with your partner to help them picture it, trying a simple accessory like a vibrating cockring (penile ring), easy to use, What matters most is to respect your shared pace. Sometimes couples start with something even softer: a sensory lubricant, a massage oil, a body paint… These aren't sex toys in the strict sense, but these intimate cosmetics already offer a gentle way to step outside the usual. Using a sex toy as a couple: the key to shared pleasure  Deepening the bond within the relationship  Discovering a sex toy together can become a true shared experience as a couple. You explore new territory, hand in hand. You learn to communicate differently, to express what you enjoy, what intrigues you, what makes you laugh too. Because yes, exploration can be fun, occasionally clumsy, and often surprising. And it's precisely that which creates shared memories. The sex toy then becomes a kind of little shared secret. Your codes, your rules, your own way of playing with intimacy. Some sex toys designed for couples have been conceived with exactly this spirit of togetherness in mind. For instance, remote-controlled objects such as vibrating eggs that allow one partner to control the other's vibrations, sometimes in the most unexpected of situations. This dynamic rests on trust. You are quite literally handing the other person control over your pleasure. And that trust, when experienced within a safe and complicit space, deepens the bond between partners profoundly. Your intimacy becomes a space of experimentation that belongs to you alone. Exploring new sensations through couples' sex toys Sex toys are also your gateway to new sensations.  The human body is incredibly sensitive. Yet in the rhythm of everyday life, you may find yourself repeating the same gestures, the same rhythms, the same positions. Sex toys simply offer a way to step outside those patterns. At first, you can keep things very gentle: exploring certain erogenous zones, trying different intensities, playing with rhythms. Then, with time and trust, some couples choose to venture a little further. Certain accessories allow you, for example, to stimulate both partners simultaneously, to explore new areas of pleasure, or to experience entirely new sensations. For many couples who take the leap, the goal isn't to radically transform their sexuality. It's more about breaking the routine. Sex toys bring a playful dimension, almost exploratory, to moments of intimacy. As medical journalist Rica Étienne points out, couples who successfully integrate these objects into their relationship generally do so thanks to a deep quality of mutual listening. What matters isn't the object itself, but the way partners talk to each other about pleasure. And sometimes, this exploration opens the door to new desires: discovering simultaneous sensations, exploring other areas of the body, or simply extending moments of pleasure. In some cases, couples' vibrators allow different kinds of stimulation to be combined, so that each partner can enjoy the experience at the same moment. Once again, there is absolutely no obligation to go in that direction. Every couple writes their own story. Ultimately, introducing a sex toy into your relationship isn't a revolution. It's more of an invitation to speak more freely about your desire, to remain curious about each other, to keep exploring even after years together. And perhaps the real secret isn't the object itself, but the conversation it opens between you.   

According to a Discurv study published in 2025, the threesome ranks among the most widespread fantasies among French people — particularly among women (40% of respondents in a European IFOP survey). And for good reason: it's one of the best ways to step outside pre-established sexual scripts, let your desire speak without filter, and completely reinvent the codes of intimacy. A threesome isn't just for couples. Singles, straight couples, queer, lesbian, gay — it doesn't matter. What counts is that open-mindedness, that curiosity, that shared desire to explore together what three bodies can create. On paper, it's thrilling. In real life? It's more complicated. What does it actually look like? How do you make sure everyone feels at ease? How do you find the right person — or people — for your threesome? Here is the guide you've been waiting for — for those ready to take the plunge. How to bring up a threesome with your partner? Setting the right scene for the conversation If you're in a relationship and you raise this question, one rule applies: context is (almost) everything. Don't bring this up after an argument, during a moment of tension, and especially not in the heat of the moment (or right after). Raw desire is not the right time to talk about shared intimacy. Create a calm, neutral moment: a quiet dinner for two, a walk, an instant where you feel connected without sex as the immediate backdrop. The atmosphere must be conducive to trust — the kind where you sense the other person is truly receptive, open, not on the defensive. When you bring up the subject, be clear about your intentions. Don't let your partner imagine the worst. Tell them clearly what excites you: is it the thrill of sharing your intimacy? The possibility of discovering new sensations? The desire to breathe new life into your relationship? Express that this is a shared project, an adventure you want to experience together — not a veiled criticism of your relationship or your current sex life. If you're single, you don't have this preliminary conversation with a partner, but the importance of establishing clear boundaries with the people who will be involved remains just as essential. Threesome: the points you absolutely must address Before you take the plunge, certain questions need to be laid on the table — for all three people involved: Context and logistics. Where? When? At your place or somewhere else? For a first time, you need to be prepared — physically and emotionally. Total improvisation can create unnecessary anxiety. Talk about the location, the timing, and how everything will be practically arranged. What you are and aren't willing to do. Which positions appeal to you? Where do you draw the line? What you're happy to explore, and what is off-limits. No judgment, but complete clarity. You don't want to be intimate with a close friend? Say so. Your fears and reservations. Be honest about what worries you. Feeling afraid of being left out, jealous, or inadequate is perfectly normal. Naming these fears is how you defuse them. A threesome only works if all three people feel involved, valued, and never overlooked. The relational context. Who is the third person? A friend, a stranger found online, a colleague you like? The dynamic will be very different depending on whether you have a pre-existing history or not. Discuss what this implies relationally for each person. The before and the after. Do you stay together as three? Do you find yourselves as two? Do you sleep together? When do you speak again? Don't leave these details vague. Many disappointments stem from unspoken expectations about what happens once the moment is over. And above all: consent is the absolute priority for all three people. It is the foundation on which everything rests. What reservations might your partner have? When the idea of a threesome comes up, certain fears tend to surface — and they're entirely legitimate. Knowing them means you can anticipate them. The fear of being left out is the most common: "What if I don't feel involved in what's happening? What if the other two focus on each other, leaving me on the sidelines?" It's vital to discuss this beforehand. During the encounter, everyone must be attentive to ensuring no one is left out. Jealousy. Even in an open relationship, seeing your partner with someone else can stir unexpected emotions. Some find it exciting; others may find it very difficult. Talk about it openly together before you take the plunge. The fear of performance. "What if it doesn't go well? What if I'm not up to it?" Take the pressure off right now. Sex is fun, not a competition. No one is there to judge, compare, or evaluate. You're there to feel good and to feel good together. That's all. How to find a threesome? Bringing it up with people around you It's quite possible that among the people around you, someone catches your eye: a friend, someone you see from time to time, someone with whom the connection could move to the next level. If you're considering this option, be extremely clear about the boundaries. The last thing you want is for this intimate experience to come between a precious friendship. The more explicit, the better. Ask the same questions as you would with a stranger — perhaps even with more clarity, since an ongoing relationship may depend on it. If no one in your usual circle feels right, go out, frequent bars, create connection, build chemistry. Pay attention to small gestures, glances, mutual attentions. Create sexual tension and observe how people respond. Sometimes, attraction blooms where you least expect it. Dedicated apps Classic dating apps (Tinder, Bumble) can work, but you'll come across a lot of profiles who aren't necessarily looking for a threesome. If you go that route, make your intentions clear in your bio. Be direct: "We're looking for someone for a threesome" saves time and avoids misunderstandings. Even better: dedicated apps. Here are our recommendations: Feeld : one of the most well-known, designed to explore all fantasies without judgment. Nous Libertins: for couples or singles looking for shared experiences. Le club app: app designed for libertines FetLife: if you envision your threesome with a more BDSM edge. These apps save you precious time. Everyone there shares the same explicit intention. Look for profiles with experience, who understand the codes, who inspire trust. Take your time. Don't rush toward the first interesting profile. The best experiences are born from patience and intuition. Libertine parties Libertine evenings and clubs are the real-life equivalent of dating apps, but with cocktails, music, and atmosphere. Attendees arrive knowing that the door is open to encounters, exchanges, and perhaps something more. You can go solo or as a couple. It's a space for encounter and exploration, a place where desire can be expressed freely, without shame. Finding the right event or venue is less straightforward than it seems, especially if you're new to it. Word of mouth remains your best ally: you can be confident the evening will be of quality, organized by people who take consent seriously. Before you go, check: the theme, the average age of attendees, the reputation, the consent guarantees, the venue. You want to be somewhere that inspires trust. Once inside, it's like a bar, a spa, or a classic evening out — but infused with eroticism: outfits are bolder, the music more sensual, the atmosphere more charged. You can let yourself go fully — dance, kiss, explore. The libertine clubs of the 1970s had exactly this energy: a place where sexual freedom was expressed openly and without guilt. Threesome: what does it actually look like?  Three bodies, three different rhythms. What takes ten minutes for one may take twenty for another and forty for the third. At 1969, we believe sex toys aren't crutches — they're tools for synchronization: a variable-intensity stimulator lets each person accelerate their pleasure without rushing the others. A shared remote turns variations into a collective game. Moreover, before you take the plunge, try out certain practices as a duo beforehand: double penetration, for example. You'll approach the threesome feeling more at ease, knowing what works for you. The secret? Not chasing perfect synchrony, but respecting each person's rhythm. Positions for a threesome  With three bodies, the configurations are endless. Here are a few ideas based on anatomies and desires, to give you a direction — with the added touch of a sex toy. Woman / Woman / Man Configuration 1: vaginal penetration + stimulation between women The man penetrates one of the women. The other draws close, and the two women caress, pleasure, and kiss each other. The woman being penetrated feels a double wave of sensation: the penetration and the contact with her partner.  For this configuration, a multi-use clitoral stimulator allows the woman being penetrated or the second woman to receive clitoral stimulation. She can use it herself, or her partner can do it for her. Configuration 2: oral pleasure + masturbation with an air pulse stimulator The man receives oral pleasure from one of the women. To heighten everyone's enjoyment, you can use an arousing and stimulating lip gloss that awakens the senses and creates extra thrills. Meanwhile, the other woman receives focused stimulation with an air pulse clitoral stimulator, held by the man or by her partner. The air pulse stimulator creates a wave-like sensation that gradually intensifies pleasure, building a parallel crescendo: as the man's arousal rises through oral pleasure, the women reach the same level of desire through clitoral stimulation. The three bodies find their natural synchronization. Configuration 3: vaginal penetration + stimulation with a realistic dildo The man penetrates one of the women. The other woman can be penetrated simultaneously thanks to a realistic dildo. Either the man or one of the women can stimulate their partner, creating sensations of double penetration without the third body being directly involved. The women can also penetrate each other. A double dong (that long sex toy divided into two ends) allows both women to penetrate each other simultaneously, enjoying the closeness and each other's movements. The man savours the view, and can caress or stimulate them in other ways. Man / Woman / Man Configuration 1: one man penetrates, the other receives One of the men penetrates the woman vaginally or anally. The other man receives oral pleasure, is stimulated manually, or simply lets himself be caressed by either partner. A vibrating cockring helps delay and intensify pleasure for the one receiving stimulation. The vibration enhances sensations without being too intrusive. Configuration 2: double penetration This is often the central fantasy in this configuration: the woman receives both men simultaneously, one vaginally and the other anally (or according to her preferences). A cockring or penile ring can also be used to sustain the erection longer. Reach for an adjustable cockring like the Hero Ring if you're not sure which model to choose: made from soft medical-grade silicone, it fits all sizes and shapes. An intimate lubricant is absolutely essential here: it's the secret to everything unfolding with comfort and ease. The Mixgliss Max range is ideal for accompanying an intense and prolonged session. It's a trusted choice for your threesome. To prepare the woman for double penetration, the couple can use a dildo or a harness like the Desirous to explore this rather intense practice beforehand. Configuration 3: vaginal penetration + oral pleasure One of the men penetrates the woman vaginally. The other man receives her oral pleasure. The woman is at the centre — double stimulation, double sensation. You can add arousing products for oral pleasure to heighten the experience. Man / Man / Man Configuration 1: simultaneous penetration One man penetrates the second, who penetrates the third. A chain of pleasure, a sense of bodily continuity. Consider an anal sex toy to prepare. Configuration 2: penetration + manual stimulation One penetrates the other while the third pleasures himself manually or with a masturbator. Configuration 3: penetration + oral pleasure One penetrates the second, while the third can find pleasure through oral stimulation. Each body occupies a place, receives a specific kind of attention. Woman / Woman / Woman Configuration 1: multi-stimulation pleasure The three women pleasure each other with fingers, tongue, or a sex toy such as a rabbit designed for dual stimulation (clitoral and penetration). One or more sex toys can be passed between them, each discovering them at her own pace. Configuration 2: the vibrating egg as a collective game In a three-woman configuration, a vibrating egg can create an intriguing dynamic: one wears it while the other two decide when to activate it — or each can wear one and swap the remotes. Each woman experiences this freedom of hands: caressing the other without interruption, exploring, playing with the intensities. It's a form of shared power and pleasure where no one is left out. Configuration 3: harness + dual stimulation One of the women wears a harness with a dildo or a strap-on and penetrates one of her partners. The Unique lingerie harness can accommodate one or two dildos for double penetration. It's perfect for pegging, vaginal penetration, and double penetration. The woman being penetrated can also pleasure the third woman: each one gives and receives at the same time.  Essential accessories for a threesome Before embarking on a group encounter, make sure you have the right accessories. Here's what your basket should contain for a successful first threesome: Intimate lubricant: this is the absolute priority. With three bodies, encounters can be longer, more intense, creating more friction. A good lubricant dramatically improves comfort and ensures everything unfolds smoothly. Water-based is essential if you're using silicone sex toys. In a configuration with at least one man and one woman: A multi-stimulation sex toy like the Man Wand Edgy , a powerful 2-in-1 Wand with an interchangeable head. It stimulates erogenous zones as well as the frenulum, the glans, and the perineum. A perfect all-in-one for your threesome. For configurations with at least two women: A dildo or vibrator that allows simultaneous penetration. For configurations involving at least one man: a cockring to prolong and intensify pleasure. For configurations involving double penetration: Try the practice beforehand with a dildo Take the time to compare these products, to discover what makes you feel alive. The object must appeal to you, personally. Your partners must also feel perfectly comfortable with what will be used on their bodies. Our tips for a threesome that goes beautifully Take the pressure off. Sex is fun. Not an exam, not a competition, not a performance test. You are three people who want to feel good together. Laugh if something doesn't work, if the timing is off, if a position is uncomfortable. Laughter is the best release valve. Communicate. Before, during, after. During the encounter, say what you enjoy, what feels good, what isn't working. An uncomfortable position? Say so. You'd like more contact? Whisper it. Real conversations during intimacy are a form of connection in their own right. They create a synchronicity between bodies. After the encounter, take time to talk about what you felt. Unexpected emotions may surface. Allow yourself to explore them without guilt. Let go of preconceptions and received ideas. There is no "right way" to have a threesome. There is your way. You want to explore at your own pace, with your own preferences, according to what feels comfortable for you. What matters is what all three of you desire. Three bodies. Three desires. Three stories crossing paths for one night. It's not complicated — as long as you take the time to talk, to listen, to anticipate. A threesome isn't an end in itself; it's a playground. And if this experience becomes a warm, shared, unforgettable memory? Then you will have succeeded in what matters most.

My name is Laura, I just turned 32 this year, and I have never felt so at home in my own body.  I grew up in the north of France, in a fairly strict family. As a child, I wanted for nothing — except perhaps a little freedom and lightness. From a young age, I was passionate about books — they were my way of escaping the everyday and daring to step outside the boundaries. Books truly taught me everything: about myself, about relationships, about seduction and even about sexuality. It was a subject I never brought up with my parents, and naturally, around the age of 15 or 16, I needed answers.  I devoured romance novels, guides, and graphic novels on the subject. My personal favourite at the time? The Flame and the Flower by Kathleen E. Woodiwiss, published in 1972: a classic of historical romance that I would recommend to every woman. After completing my degree in communications, I knew straight away that I wanted to start working. For weeks, I approached every bookshop in my city until someone gave me a chance. I was barely 20, and it was around that time that I also began to flirt with men — for real, I mean, outside of my imagination and my fantasies. Before that, I don't think I truly felt entitled to. After 2 or 3 genuinely disappointing relationships, I met Thomas at a party. The chemistry between us was immediate. The conversation flowed naturally, the attraction was undeniable.  Less than 2 years after we met, I fell pregnant. We were using protection, so it wasn't exactly planned, but I didn't question it for a moment. Mathilde's first months were inevitably difficult and utterly exhausting. She took a very long time to sleep through the night — she was a baby who needed a great deal of attention. For my part, I was prepared for this reality and had anticipated the change of pace, but I think Thomas hadn't truly grasped what becoming a parent really meant. At first, I didn't hold it against him at all. After all, we were young, he too wanted to invest his energy in his career, and he always took care of me. He was doing his best, he really was. But it's true that exhaustion crushes everything. Inevitably, our intimacy took a hit, and so did my libido. I had no mental space or energy left to dedicate to our sexuality. The first year, we couldn't even find a moment alone for dinner or a movie. When I sensed that he was pulling away, I took the initiative. I finally dared to ask for help from our friends and family so they could look after Mathilde at least once a week. I went the extra mile to rekindle the flame: romantic dinners, flirty messages, fine lingerie, playful games… I tried everything to nurture our intimacy. For a while, it worked reasonably well, but I was always the only one taking the initiative. Being a mother, a bookseller, a woman, and a lover… I could no longer give 100% to all of these roles. Thomas was growing distant, and nothing I put in place was enough to keep him close. I could see clearly that he was elsewhere, that he no longer wanted to invest in our relationship. I realised we had become housemates, co-parents at best. I was no longer desirable in his eyes. That realisation hurt me deeply, especially after all the efforts I had made to save our relationship. Our daughter wasn't even two years old when I did what I thought I would never do: go through his phone while he was in the shower. I'm not sure whether it was exhaustion, fear, or simply instinct, but I found what I had been dreading. A conversation with a woman I didn't know, going on for months. Messages, photos, words… All that attention that was no longer meant for me.  I read it, reread it, over and over again. And it was devastating. Not only because he was betraying me, but because I felt invisible. Replaced. Humiliated. Even though I know now that it makes no sense, I compared myself to her, I analysed every detail, every photo. I confronted him. He didn't deny it. He didn't fight. He didn't even try to hold on to me. He let me be the one to file for divorce. He signed the papers. And it was over. After that, I disappeared a little myself. I became only a mother. Efficient, organised, always present for my daughter, but no longer a woman at all. My body, my desire, as if erased. Even self-pleasure felt out of reach, as though my mind had shut that door entirely. I went back to work, met new people, tried to rebuild myself. But it was never enough. I felt empty, and guilty for feeling empty. Six months after the divorce, I finally confided in a friend. She was seeing a sex therapist as part of couples therapy, and she gave me her contact details. I made an appointment — partly out of curiosity, partly out of desperation. On the day of the appointment, I could barely get through a sentence without dissolving into tears. I told her everything that had been weighing on my heart: the divorce, the betrayal, my exhaustion, my anger, my shame… She looked at me, patiently, and then she said something I will never forget: « You have the right to become a woman again. You have the right to be modest, and you also have the right to experience pleasure. » Just that. Three sentences. But they hit me like a wave. My husband had stolen nothing from me. My body, my pleasure — they were still mine. For the first time in months, I felt seen, whole, legitimate in my desire. She explained that one could be modest, that one could take pleasure without shame, that pleasure was not a betrayal, nor a luxury, nor a whim. That I could be a mother, work, love… and experience pleasure fully. That small shift was enormous. As though someone had handed back my permission to breathe for myself, to think of myself. Before I left, she scribbled something on a Post-it: 1969 And the name of a clitoral massager: the Wand « Start there, » she told me. « Take it gently. Come back for a follow-up after. » I ordered it. The package sat on my bedside table for an entire week. I would look at it — a little wary, a little excited, a little ashamed. I was waiting for the right moment to open it. Then one weekend, Mathilde was at her father's, and I dared. At first, I simply glided the toy over my skin to explore my arms, my thighs, my stomach… rediscovering forgotten parts of my body. I was no longer used to touching myself just for me. And it was delicious. I didn't know the inside of my thighs was so sensitive — I had never taken the time to discover my body in my past relationships. Neither had my partners, for that matter. Then I brought the Wand close to my clitoris. I hesitated for a moment, heart racing, as though I were about to cross a forbidden threshold. I switched on the softest vibration, and I breathed — slowly, deeply, again and again — as if to convince myself that I had every right to be there, and that I was doing nothing wrong. And then, I combined the Wand with the caress of my body. The sensation… I had never felt anything like it. A warmth that spread through everything, an immense sense of release, as though every corner of my body had been holding something for years that it finally had the right to let go. At first, it was fast, uncontrollable. I didn't know where to place my hands, how to breathe with that sensation rising so quickly. And then I started listening to my body. Breathing with the rhythm, stretching out the pleasure, exploring the blend of touch and vibration. I didn't even feel the need for penetration — everything was perfect just as it was. Each small pulse became a discovery, a shiver, a tremor I had never taken the time to feel before. Multiple orgasms, control over the rising tide of desire, a world I thought was closed to me, and which opened up in an instant. When I heard my friends talk about multiple orgasms, I thought they were exaggerating a little — I didn't think it was truly possible. I was very wrong. I don't feel ready to meet someone, but I feel alive and connected to my femininity, more attuned to my desire. My libido is reawakening, gently, and with it, a part of me I thought I had lost. I went back to see my therapist a few weeks later. We talked about what I had discovered, about this pleasure I had finally allowed myself to feel. She encouraged me to keep exploring, to rediscover my body, to listen to my desires. Today, I'm not necessarily chasing love at any cost, but I know I can give myself pleasure, take time for myself, and savour my sensations. I want to keep exploring, to try new sex toys — and I have to admit that the Rabbit has been catching my eye.. I have only one desire: to embrace this newfound freedom, just for myself.  

Libido is neither an on/off switch nor a purely hormonal mechanism. It fluctuates, transforms, and sometimes falls silent. Stress, menstrual cycles, mental health, relationship tension, postpartum changes, menopause… desire is shaped by many factors, far beyond clichés about male or female libido. How can you understand these shifts? How can you navigate a libido gap without weakening your bond? And above all, how can you gently reawaken a sleeping desire? A complete guide to bringing the body, attentiveness and sensuality back to the heart of your intimacy.

What if orgasm were no longer a destination, but a horizon you brush against without surrendering to it just yet? Edging — or orgasm control — is the art of slowing down, holding back, and letting pleasure build so it can be felt more fully. Solo or with a partner, this practice invites you to savour every shiver, explore the plateau phase and transform tension into ecstasy. Discover how to practice edging step by step and awaken a more conscious, slower, infinitely more powerful intimacy.

Want to spice up your intimate life and deepen your connection as a couple? A sex toy in a heterosexual relationship is neither a rival nor a substitute — it is an ally of shared pleasure. Clitoral stimulator, vibrating ring, couples' vibrator… Discover how to choose the right model, introduce it with care and transform your intimate moments into a richer, more connected and more liberating experience.