Guide

Learn how to give an erotic massage in 5 steps: oil, atmosphere, sensitive zones and techniques to rekindle intimacy and desire as a couple.

Low libido? Discover the most common causes and our practical advice to rediscover desire: atmosphere, foreplay, lubricants and much more.

Discover the Karezza method: a philosophy of intimacy free from the pressure of orgasm, for greater sensuality, connection and conscious pleasure as a couple.

The idea of introducing sex toys into your relationship has been going around in your head for several weeks, perhaps even several months. You see it as an opportunity to invigorate your intimacy, break the routine, explore new experiences… There is just one shadow on the picture: you do not dare talk to your partner about it. Not because they are closed-minded, but because you are afraid of awakening insecurities, of having this initiative misinterpreted. This is quite common. And indeed, if you want to introduce a sex toy as a couple, there is a good (and a not-so-good) way to bring the subject up.  Here is a guide to help you think this idea through and bring it up with your partner in the best possible way.  Sex toys as a couple: what reservations might your partner have?  What if your partner felt in competition with the sex toy?  This is one of the objections that comes up regularly when one partner wishes to introduce sex toys into the relationship: "I'm not enough for you," "you need more," "you're not fulfilled with me and you didn't dare tell me"… Your partner interprets your request as an implicit message: they think you are not satisfied in your intimate life. As we mentioned earlier, this is a common scenario: your partner fears that the object will give you sensations that they cannot.  It is therefore essential to choose the right moment to bring up sex toys as a couple and put forward the right arguments (we explain a little further down how to do this). Even if it seems obvious to you, it is absolutely essential to put the idea of shared pleasure into words. The sex toy is merely a tool to guide you both toward new sensations. You can enjoy it together, discover things as a couple, without competing with the toy. The sex toy replaces no one — it is purely "a playful and entirely erotic instrument" as psychoanalyst and sexologist Valentina Bracciale likes to remind us. Rekindling performance anxiety Performance anxiety is very common within relationships. While it tends to manifest more acutely in men, women are not immune.  In a few words, performance anxiety is the fear of failure transposed onto sexuality. You are afraid of not being enough, of not satisfying your partner, of not being sufficient or of being too much… Sexual standards are rooted in pornography: we are talking not only about performance but also about very specific physical codes associated with beauty and desirability. You may not even realize it, but this content, consumed without critical awareness, can fuel your sexual anxiety.  Try to free yourself from it and return to your own reality, reinventing the codes of an intimacy that truly fulfils you both, far from the pressure of orgasm at any cost. Introducing a sex toy into your relationship is precisely the opportunity to rethink your sexuality — an invitation to do things differently. Besides, you don't have to start with a penetrative model. Wand sex toys (massagers) are perfect for exploring your partner's erogenous zones, gently and at your own pace. When you are both ready, you can explore other models to go even further! Sex toys as a couple: what if it were simply a fear of the unknown?  Sometimes, the hesitation is not related to performance or jealousy. It simply comes down to… the unknown. It is human. As soon as something steps outside the usual frame, the mind imagines a thousand scenarios: What if I don't know how to use it? What if it feels strange? What if I hurt someone? What if we are disappointed? Sex toys still carry a somewhat mysterious image, almost intimidating. We picture them as technical, complicated, reserved for the initiated. In reality, they are primarily designed to be intuitive and playful. What matters, when bringing up the subject with your partner, is precisely defusing this pressure. This is not a goal to be achieved, let alone a performance to succeed at. No one is expecting anything. There is no result to obtain. You can simply present the idea as a shared curiosity. A way of saying: "I don't know this world very well either, but I would love for us to discover it together." This approach changes everything. It transforms the object into shared exploratory territory, rather than an accessory loaded with expectations. Looking for your first sex toy can actually become an experience in itself. Browsing through the different categories, comparing models, discussing what intrigues or attracts you. All of this is already part of the game. And if you would like some reassurance, there are many educational resources available today: user reviews, detailed product descriptions, the specialist blogs, the podcasts on sexuality, FAQs that answer the most frequently asked questions. There is no obligation to know everything right away. Discovery is part of the pleasure. The keys to a successful conversation when bringing up the subject of sex toys  Choosing the right moment  The moment you choose to bring up the subject matters greatly. A conversation about intimacy requires a minimum of emotional availability. If one of you is tired, stressed or preoccupied, there is a good chance the message will not land as you had hoped. Ideally, choose a calm moment when you are both relaxed. A quiet evening at home, a moment of conversation after dinner, a walk where the discussion comes naturally. Some situations are, on the other hand, less favourable: just after sex, just after an argument, in a moment of vulnerability or tension, in a very intense seduction phase. Why? Because the conversation could be misinterpreted. After sex, your partner might think that something was not satisfying. After an argument, the conversation could become defensive. The best approach is a neutral moment, when you simply feel like having a conversation. The idea is not to turn it into a grand solemn speech, but to open a natural conversation. An idea slipped into the discussion, a shared curiosity, a reflection on sexuality. Like many topics within a relationship, it is often a question of timing. Highlighting the shared benefits of sex toys as a couple  When you raise the idea of a sex toy as a couple, it is essential to emphasize that this is not a personal project. This is not something you want for yourself. It is something you would like to explore together. Simply explain what draws you to this idea. Perhaps the desire to discover new sensations, to add a spark to your intimacy, to step gently outside your routine. Perhaps also curiosity about a world you still know relatively little about. Your partner knows you. They know how you work. If you explain your intentions with sincerity, it will be much easier for your other half to understand what you have in mind. All the more so since sex toys are now widely mainstream. A study conducted by IFOP indicates, for example, that 69% of French people who have already used a sex toy as a couple feel that it had a positive impact on their sexual pleasure. This figure simply serves as a reminder: this is not a marginal or selfish endeavour. For many couples, it is simply a new way of nurturing their intimacy. Respecting your partner's pace and concerns  A successful conversation is never a monologue. When you broach this subject, it is essential to give your partner space to express themselves. Their questions, their doubts, their reactions are all part of the process. Perhaps the conversation will go exactly as you imagined, or perhaps it will take an unexpected turn. Your partner might be curious, enthusiastic, surprised, or on the contrary a little hesitant at first. All of this is perfectly normal. What matters is listening without trying to convince at all costs. The goal is not to win a debate but to open a dialogue. It is also possible that your partner may not know how to respond right away. Some ideas simply need time to find their way. Sometimes the conversation stops there… and comes back a few days or weeks later. And that is often how discussions around intimacy evolve within a relationship. In any case, avoid putting on pressure. Do not set deadlines, do not constantly bring the subject back up. Simply let the idea exist. Your partner could very well come back to you later with curiosity. Take it step by step, together  If your partner is open to the idea, there is no need to rush things. One of the worst approaches would be to arrive at the conversation with a sex toy already purchased, placed on the table as though it were a foregone conclusion. You can, for example, browse a specialist website together, discover the different categories, discuss what intrigues or attracts you. Some models might make you smile, others will spark genuine curiosity. And that is perfectly fine. It is also possible that your partner would prefer to start gently. For example: try a sex toy on yourself first then share your experience with your partner to help them imagine it for themselves, try a simple accessory like a vibrating cockring (penis ring), easy to use, What matters most is respecting your shared pace. Sometimes, couples begin with softer products: a sensory lubricant, a massage oil, body paint… These are not strictly speaking sex toys, but these intimate cosmetics already allow you to step gently outside your habits. Using a sex toy as a couple: the key to shared pleasure  Deepening the bond within the relationship  Discovering a sex toy together can become a truly shared experience as a couple. You are exploring new territory, hand in hand. You are learning to communicate differently, to express what pleases you, what intrigues you, what makes you laugh as well. Because yes, exploration can be fun, sometimes a little clumsy, often surprising. And that is precisely what creates shared memories. The sex toy then becomes a kind of little shared secret. Your codes, your rules, your own way of playing with intimacy. Some couples' sex toys have actually been designed with this spirit of complicity in mind. For example, remote-controlled objects such as vibrating eggs which allow one partner to control the other's vibrations, sometimes in unexpected situations. This dynamic is built on trust. You are literally letting the other take control of your pleasure. And this trust, when experienced within a safe and complicit space, deeply strengthens the bond between partners. Your intimacy becomes a space for experimentation that belongs only to you. Exploring new sensations with couples' sex toys Sex toys are also your gateway to new sensations.  The human body is incredibly sensitive. Yet, in the routine of daily life, you may tend to repeat the same gestures, the same rhythms, the same positions. Sex toys simply allow you to break free from these automatisms. At first, you can keep things very gentle: exploring certain erogenous zones, testing different intensities, playing with rhythms. Then, with time and trust, some couples choose to go a little further. Some accessories allow you, for example, to stimulate both partners at the same time, to explore new areas of pleasure or to discover entirely new sensations. For many couples who take the plunge, the goal is not to radically transform their sex life. It is more about breaking the routine. Sex toys bring a playful dimension, almost exploratory, to moments of intimacy. As medical journalist Rica Étienne highlights, couples who successfully integrate these objects into their relationship generally do so through a great quality of mutual listening. What matters is not the object itself, but the way partners communicate around pleasure. And sometimes, this exploration opens the door to new desires: discovering simultaneous sensations, exploring other areas of the body, or simply prolonging moments of pleasure. In some cases, couples' vibrators allow, for example, different stimulations to be combined, so that each partner can enjoy the experience at the same moment. Once again, there is no obligation to go in this direction. Every couple writes their own story. At heart, introducing a sex toy into your relationship is not a revolution. It is more of an invitation to speak more freely about your desire, to be curious about one another, to keep exploring even after years together. And perhaps the real secret is not the object itself, but the dialogue it opens between you.   

According to a Discurv study published in 2025, the threesome ranks among the most widespread fantasies among French people, particularly among women (40% of respondents in a European IFOP survey). And for good reason: it's one of the best ways to step outside pre-established sexual scripts, to let your desire speak freely and to completely reinvent the codes of sexuality. Threesomes aren't reserved for couples. Singles, straight couples, queer, lesbian, gay — it doesn't matter. What counts is that open-mindedness, that curiosity, that shared desire to explore together what three bodies can create. On paper, it's thrilling. In real life? It's more complicated. What does it actually look like? How do you make sure everyone feels comfortable? How do you find the right person or people for your threesome? Here is the guide you've been waiting for, for those ready to take the leap. How to talk about a threesome with your partner? The right setting for the conversation If you're in a relationship and you raise this question, one rule applies: context is (almost) everything. Don't bring up this conversation after an argument, during a moment of tension, and especially not in the middle of intimacy (or right after). Raw desire is not the right moment to discuss shared intimacy. Create a calm, neutral moment : a quiet dinner for two, a walk, an instant where you feel connected without sex as the immediate backdrop. The atmosphere must be conducive to trust — the kind where you sense the other person is truly receptive, open, not on the defensive. When you raise the subject, be precise about your intentions. Don't let your partner imagine the worst. Tell them clearly what excites you: is it the thrill of sharing your intimacy? The possibility of discovering new sensations? The desire to breathe new life into your shared world? Express that this is a shared project, an adventure you want to experience together — not a veiled critique of your relationship or your current sexuality. If you're single, you don't have this prior conversation with a partner, but the importance of establishing a clear framework with those who will participate is no less essential. Threesome: the points that must absolutely be addressed Before you take the plunge, certain questions must be placed on the table, for all three participants: Context and logistics. Where? When? At your place or elsewhere? For a first time, you need to be physically and psychologically prepared. Total improvisation can create unnecessary anxiety. Talk about the location, the timing, how everything will be practically organized. What you are ready to do or not do. Which positions appeal to you? Where do you draw the line? What you're open to exploring, and what's off-limits. No judgment, but complete clarity. You don't want intimacy with a close friend? Say so. Your fears and reservations. Be honest about what worries you. Fearing exclusion, jealousy, or inadequacy is normal. Naming those fears is how you disarm them. A threesome only succeeds when all three people feel involved, valued, never abandoned. The relational context. Who is the third person? A friend, someone met online, a colleague you like? The dynamic will be entirely different depending on whether you have an existing history or not. Discuss what this implies relationally for each person. The before and the after. Do you stay together as three afterward? Do you find yourselves alone as two? Do you sleep together? When do you speak again? Don't leave these details vague. Much disappointment stems from unspoken expectations about what happens once bodies have parted. And above all: consent is the absolute priority for all three people. It is the foundation upon which everything rests. What reservations might your partner have? When people think about a threesome, certain fears come up regularly — and they're legitimate. Knowing them means you can anticipate them. The fear of being left out is the most common : "What if I don't feel involved in what's happening? What if the other two focus on each other, leaving me on the sidelines?" This is crucial to address beforehand. During the experience, everyone must be mindful to ensure no one feels left behind. Jealousy. Even in an open relationship, seeing your partner with someone else can trigger unexpected emotions. Some find it exciting, others may struggle deeply. Talk about it openly together before you take the leap. The fear of performance. "What if it doesn't go well? What if I'm not up to it?" Let that go right now. Sex is fun, not a competition. No one is there to judge, compare, or evaluate. You're there to feel good and to enjoy yourself. That's all. How to find a threesome? Talk about it with those around you It's quite possible that within your circle, someone attracts you: a female friend, a male friend, someone you see occasionally and with whom the connection could move to the next level. If you're considering this option, be extremely clear about the boundaries. The last thing you want is for this intimate experience to damage a precious friendship. The more explicit, the better. Ask the same questions as you would a stranger, perhaps even with more clarity, since an enduring relationship depends on it. If no one in your usual circle feels right, go out, frequent bars, create connections, build a feeling.  Be attentive to small gestures, glances, and mutual attentions. Create sexual tension and observe how each person responds. Sometimes, attraction arises where you least expect it. Dedicated apps Classic dating apps (Tinder, Bumble) can work, but you'll come across a lot of profiles that aren't necessarily looking for a threesome. If you go that route, clarify your intentions in your bio. Be direct: "We're looking for someone for a threesome" saves time and avoids misunderstandings. Even better: dedicated apps. Here are our recommendations: Feeld : one of the most well-known, designed to explore all fantasies without judgment. Nous Libertins : for couples or individuals seeking shared experiences. Le club app : application designed for libertines FetLife : if you envision the threesome with a more BDSM edge. These apps save you precious time. Everyone there shares the same explicit intention. Look for profiles with experience, who understand the codes, who inspire trust. Take your time. Don't rush toward the first interesting profile. The finest experiences are born of patience and intuition. Libertine evenings Libertine evenings and libertine clubs are the real-life equivalent of dating apps, but with cocktails, music, and an atmosphere. The women and men who attend do so knowing that the door is open to encounters, exchanges, and perhaps direct connection on the spot. You can go alone or as a couple. It's a place for encounter and exploration, a space where desire can be expressed freely, without shame. Finding the right evening or the right venue is less straightforward than it seems, especially if you're just starting out. Word of mouth remains your greatest ally : you can be assured the evening will be of quality, organized by serious people who take consent seriously. Before going, check: the theme, the average age of attendees, the reputation, the consent guarantees, the venue. You want to be somewhere that inspires trust. Once inside, it's like a bar, a spa or a classic evening out, but infused with eroticism : the outfits are bolder, the music more sensual, the atmosphere more charged. You can let yourself go fully — dance, kiss, explore. The libertine clubs of the 70s had that energy: the kind of place where sexual freedom expressed itself openly and without guilt. Threesome: what does it actually look like?  Three bodies, three different rhythms. What takes ten minutes for one may take twenty for another and forty for the last. At 1969 we believe sex toys are not so much crutches, but rather tools for synchronization : a variable-intensity stimulator allows each person to heighten their pleasure without rushing the others. A shared remote control turns variations into a collective game. Moreover, before you take the leap, explore certain practices together beforehand : double penetration, for example. You'll approach the threesome with greater ease, knowing what works for you. The secret? Not striving for perfect synchrony, but honoring each person's own rhythm. Positions for a threesome  With three bodies, the configurations are endless. Here are a few ideas based on anatomy and desire, to give you a direction by incorporating a sex toy. Woman / Woman / Man Configuration 1 : vaginal penetration + stimulation between women The man penetrates one of the women. The other draws closer and the two women caress each other, pleasure each other, kiss. The woman being penetrated feels a double thrill: the man's penetration and the touch of her partner.  For this configuration, a multi-use clitoral stimulator allows the woman being penetrated or the second woman to receive clitoral stimulation. She can use it herself or her partner can do it for her. Configuration 2 : oral pleasure + stimulation with an air pulse stimulator The man receives oral pleasure from one of the women. To heighten everyone's enjoyment, you can use an arousing and stimulating gloss that awakens sensations and creates extra shivers. Meanwhile, the other woman receives controlled stimulation with a air-pulse clitoral stimulator, held by the man or by her partner. The air-pulse stimulator creates a sensation of waves that gradually intensifies pleasure, building a parallel crescendo: as the man's excitement rises through oral pleasure, the women reach the same level of desire through clitoral stimulation. All three bodies find their natural synchronization. Configuration 3: vaginal penetration + stimulation with a realistic dildo The man penetrates one of the women. The other woman can be simultaneously pleasured using a realistic dildo . Either the man or one of the women can stimulate their partner to create sensations of double penetration without the third body being directly involved. The women can also penetrate each other. A double dong (that long sex toy divided into two ends) allows both women to penetrate each other simultaneously, reveling in the closeness and each other's movements. The man enjoys the view, can caress them or stimulate them in other ways. Man / Woman / Man Configuration 1 : one man penetrates, the other receives One of the men penetrates the woman vaginally or anally. The other man is pleasured manually, receives oral stimulation, or simply lets himself be caressed by one of the two partners. A vibrating cockring helps delay and intensify the pleasure of the one receiving stimulation. The vibration heightens sensations without being too overwhelming. Configuration 2 : double penetration This is often the central fantasy in this configuration: the woman receives both men simultaneously, one vaginally, the other anally (or according to her preferences). A cockring or penile ring can also be used to maintain an erection for longer. Turn to an adjustable cockring like the Hero Ring if you're unsure which model to choose: made from soft medical-grade silicone, it suits all sizes and body types. An intimate lubricant is absolutely essential here: it's the secret to ensuring everything unfolds with comfort and ease. The Mixgliss Max range is ideal for accompanying intense and prolonged play. It's a reliable choice for your threesome. To prepare the woman for double penetration, the couple can use a dildo or a harness like the Desirous to explore this quite intense practice beforehand. Configuration 3 : vaginal penetration + oral pleasure One man penetrates the woman vaginally. The other man receives oral pleasure from her. The woman is at the center — double stimulation, double sensation. You can add arousing products for oral pleasure to intensify the experience. Man / Man / Man Configuration 1: simultaneous penetration One man penetrates the second, who penetrates the third. A chain of pleasure, a sensation of bodily continuity. Consider a anal sex toy to prepare. Configuration 2 : penetration + manual stimulation One penetrates the other while the third pleasures themselves manually or with a masturbator. Configuration 3 : penetration + oral pleasure One penetrates the second while the third finds pleasure through oral intimacy. Each body holds a place, receives its own devoted attention. Woman / Woman / Woman Configuration 1 : multi-stimulation masturbation The three women caress each other with fingers, tongue, or a sex toy such as a rabbit vibrator designed for dual stimulation (clitoral and penetration). One or more sex toys can circulate between them, each discovering them at their own pace. Configuration 2 : the vibrating egg as a shared game In a three-women configuration, a vibrating egg can create an interesting game: one wears it while the other two decide when to activate it, or each can wear one and mix up the remotes. Each one experiences this freedom of the hands: caressing the other without interruption, exploring, playing with intensities. It's a form of passing power and pleasure where no one is left behind. Configuration 3 : harness + double stimulation One of the women wears a harness with a dildo or a strap-on and penetrates one of her partners. The Unique lingerie harness can accommodate one or two dildos for double penetration. It is perfect for pegging, vaginal penetration and double penetration. The woman being penetrated can also pleasure the third woman: each one giving and receiving at the same time.  Essential accessories for a threesome Before embarking on a shared experience, equip yourself with the right accessories. Here is what your kit should contain for a successful first threesome: Intimate lubricant : it's the absolute priority. With three bodies, encounters can be longer, more intense, creating more friction. A good lubricant drastically improves comfort and ensures everything flows smoothly. Water-based is essential if you're using silicone sex toys. In a configuration with at least one man and one woman: A multi-stimulation sex toy like the Man Wand Edgy , a powerful 2-in-1 Wand with an interchangeable head. It stimulates erogenous zones, as well as the frenulum, glans, and perineum. A perfect all-in-one for your threesome. For configurations with at least two women: A dildo or vibrator that allows simultaneous penetration. For configurations with at least one man : a cockring to prolong and intensify pleasure. For configurations involving double penetration: Practice the experience beforehand with a dildo Take the time to carefully compare these products, to discover what would truly resonate with you. The object should appeal to you, personally. Your partners must also feel perfectly comfortable with what will be used on their bodies. Our tips for a threesome that goes smoothly Let go of pressure. Sex is fun. Not an exam, not a contest, not a performance challenge. You are three people who want to feel good together. Laugh if something isn't working, if the timing is off, if a position is uncomfortable. Laughter is the best release valve. Communicate. Before, during, after. During intimacy, say what you enjoy, what feels good, what isn't working. An awkward position? Say so. You'd like more contact? Whisper it. Real conversations in the moment are a form of intimacy in their own right. They create a synchronization between bodies. After the experience, take time to talk about what you felt. Unexpected emotions may arise. Give yourself permission to explore them without guilt. Let go of preconceptions and received ideas. There is no "right way" to have a threesome. There is your way. You want to explore at your own pace, with your own preferences, according to what makes you comfortable. What matters is what all three of you desire. Three bodies. Three desires. Three stories that intertwine for a night. It's not complicated if you take the time to talk, to listen, to anticipate. A threesome isn't an end in itself — it's a playground. And if this experience becomes a warm, shared, unforgettable memory? You will have achieved what truly matters.

My name is Laura, I just turned 32 this year, and I have never felt so at home in my own body.  I grew up in the north of France, in a fairly strict family. As a child, I lacked for nothing — except perhaps a little freedom and lightness. From a young age, I have been passionate about books — they are the way I found to escape the everyday and dare to step outside the frame. Books have truly taught me everything: about myself, about relationships, about seduction, and even about sexuality. It was a subject I never discussed with my parents, and naturally, by the time I was 15 or 16, I needed answers.  I devoured romance novels, guides, and graphic novels on the subject. My little favourite at the time? The Flame and the Flower by Kathleen E. Woodiwiss, published in 1972: a classic of historical romance that I would recommend to every woman.  After a degree in communications, I immediately wanted to start working. For weeks, I approached every bookshop in town until someone gave me a chance. I was barely 20, and it was around that time that I also began to flirt with men. For real, I mean — beyond my own mind and my fantasies. Before that, I don't think I truly felt allowed to. After 2 or 3 genuinely disappointing encounters, I met Thomas at a party. The chemistry between us was immediate. The conversation flowed, the attraction was there.  Less than 2 years after we met, I fell pregnant. We were using protection so it wasn't really planned, but I didn't question it for a moment.  Mathilde's first months were inevitably difficult and utterly exhausting. She took a very long time to sleep through the night — a newborn who needed a great deal of attention. For my part, I was prepared for that reality, I had anticipated this shift in rhythm, but I believe Thomas hadn't quite grasped what becoming a parent truly meant.  At first, I didn't hold it against him at all. After all, we were young, he too wanted to invest energy in his career, and he always took care of me. He was doing his best, he truly was. But the truth is, exhaustion crushes everything. Naturally, our intimacy took a blow, and so did my libido. I no longer had the mental space or the energy to dedicate to our sexuality. In that first year, we couldn't even find a moment together for a restaurant or a film. When I sensed that he was pulling away, I took the initiative. I finally dared to ask for help from our friends and family to look after Mathilde at least once a week. I gave everything I had to rekindle the flame: romantic dinners, flirty messages, fine lingerie, playful games… I tried everything to breathe new life into our intimacy. At first, it worked reasonably well, but I was always the only one to take the initiative. Being a mother, a bookseller, a woman, a lover… I could no longer give 100% to all of those roles. Thomas was growing distant, and nothing I put in place was enough to hold him. I could clearly see he was elsewhere, that he no longer wanted to invest in our relationship. I realised we had become housemates, co-parents at best. I was no longer desirable in his eyes. That realisation hurt me deeply, especially after all the efforts I had made to save our relationship.  Our daughter wasn't even two years old when I did what I never thought I would do: go through his phone while he was in the shower. I don't know whether it was exhaustion, fear, or simply instinct, but I found what I had been dreading. A conversation with a woman he had been messaging for months. Messages, photos, words… All that attention that was no longer meant for me.  I read it, reread it, over and over again. And it was devastating. Not only because he was cheating on me, but because I felt invisible. Replaced. Humiliated. Even though I know today it makes no sense, I compared myself to her, I analysed every detail, every photo. I confronted him. He didn't deny it. He didn't fight. He didn't even try to hold on to me. He let me file for divorce. He signed the papers. And it was over.  After that, I disappeared a little myself. I became only a mother. Efficient, organized, always there for my daughter, but no longer a woman at all. My body, my desire — as if erased. Even self-pleasure had become impossible for me, as if my mind had shut that door. I went back to work, met people, tried to rebuild myself. But it was never enough. I felt empty, and guilty for feeling empty. Six months after the divorce, I finally talked about it with a friend. She was seeing a sex therapist as part of couples therapy, and she gave me her details. I made an appointment — partly out of curiosity, partly out of desperation. On the day of the appointment, I could barely speak without breaking into tears. I told her everything that was on my heart: the divorce, the betrayal, my exhaustion, my anger, my shame… She looked at me, patiently, and then she said something I will never forget: « You have the right to become a woman again. You have the right to be modest, and you also have the right to experience pleasure. » Just that. Three sentences. But it shattered something in me. My husband had stolen nothing from me. My body, my pleasure — they were still mine. For the first time in months, I felt seen, whole, legitimate in my desire. She explained that one could be modest, that one could find pleasure without shame, that pleasure was not a betrayal, nor a luxury, nor a whim. That I could be a mother, work, love… and fully experience pleasure. That small revelation was enormous. As if someone had handed me back the right to breathe for myself, to think of myself. Before I left, she had scribbled on a post-it: 1969 And the name of a clitoral massager: the Wand « Start here, » she told me. « Take it slowly. Come back for a follow-up appointment. » I placed my order. The package sat on my bedside table for an entire week. I would look at it — a little wary, a little excited, a little ashamed. I was waiting for the right moment to open it.  Then one weekend, Mathilde was at her father's, and I dared.  At first, I simply ran the toy over my skin to explore my arms, my thighs, my stomach… rediscovering forgotten parts of my body. I was no longer used to touching myself just for me. And it was delicious. I didn't know the inside of my thighs was so sensitive — I had never taken the time to discover my body in my past relationships. Neither had my partners, for that matter. Then I brought the Wand close to my clitoris. I hesitated for a moment, heart racing, as if I were about to cross a forbidden threshold. I turned on the softest vibration and breathed slowly, deeply, over and over, as if to reassure myself that I had every right to be there and that I was doing nothing wrong. And then, I combined the Wand with the caress of my own body. The sensation… I had never felt anything like it. A warmth that floods everything, an immense release, as if every corner of my body had been holding something back for years and finally had the right to let go. At first, it was quick, overwhelming. I didn't know where to place my hands, how to breathe through this sensation that rose so fast. And then I began to listen to my body. To breathe with the rhythm, to draw out the pleasure, to explore by combining touch and vibration. I didn't even want penetration — everything was perfect just as it was.  Each small pulse became a discovery, a shiver, a quiver I had never taken the time to feel. Multiple orgasms, mastery over the rise of desire, a world I thought was closed to me, that opened up in an instant. When I heard my friends talk about multiple orgasms, I thought they were exaggerating a little — I didn't think it was possible. How wrong I was.  I don't feel ready to meet someone, but I feel alive and connected to my femininity, more attuned to my desire. My libido is reawakening, gently, and with it, a part of me I thought I had lost. I went back to see my therapist a few weeks later. We talked about what I had discovered, about this pleasure I had finally allowed myself to feel. She encouraged me to keep exploring, to relearn my body, to listen to my desires. Today, I'm not necessarily looking for love at any cost, but I know I can allow myself pleasure, take time for myself, and savour my own sensations. I want to keep exploring, to try new intimate toys — it's true that the Rabbit has been catching my eye… All I want is to savour this rediscovered freedom — just for myself.