Guide

The idea of introducing sex toys into your relationship has been turning over in your mind for weeks, perhaps even months. You see it as an opportunity to invigorate your intimacy, break the routine, explore new experiences… There is just one shadow over all of this: you do not dare bring it up with your partner. Not because they are closed-minded, but because you are afraid of stirring up insecurities, of this initiative being misinterpreted. This is quite common. And indeed, if you wish to use a sex toy as a couple, there is a right (and a wrong) way to bring the subject up.  Here, then, is a guide to help you nurture this idea and bring it up with your partner in the best possible way.  Sex toys as a couple: what reservations might your partner have?  What if your partner felt in competition with the sex toy?  This is one of the objections that comes up regularly when one partner wishes to introduce sex toys into the relationship: "I'm not enough for you", "you need more", "you're not fulfilled with me and you didn't dare tell me"… Your partner interprets your request as an implicit message: they think you are not satisfied in your intimate life. As we mentioned earlier, this is a common scenario: your other half fears that the object will give you sensations that they cannot.  It is therefore essential to choose the right moment to bring up sex toys as a couple, and to put forward the right arguments (we explain a little further on how to do so). Even if it seems obvious to you, it is absolutely essential to put into words the idea of shared pleasure. The sex toy is merely a tool to guide you both towards new sensations. You can enjoy yourselves together, discover things as a pair, without competing with the toy. The sex toy replaces no one — it is purely "a playful and utterly erotic instrument" as psychoanalyst and sexologist Valentina Bracciale likes to remind us. Reigniting performance anxiety Performance anxiety is very common within relationships. While it often manifests more acutely in men, women are by no means spared.  In a few words, performance anxiety is the fear of failure transposed onto sexuality. You are afraid of not being enough, of not bringing your partner to pleasure, of not being quite right… Sexual standards are rooted in pornography: we are talking not only about performance but also about very precise physical codes associated with beauty and desirability. You may not even realise it, but this content, consumed without a critical eye, can feed your sexual anxiety.  Try to free yourself from them and return to your own reality, reinventing the codes of an intimacy that truly fulfils you both, far from the pressure of orgasm at all costs. Introducing a sex toy into your relationship is precisely an opportunity to rethink your sexuality, an invitation to do things differently. Besides, you are not obliged to start with a penetrative model. Wand sex toys (massagers) are perfect for exploring your partner's erogenous zones, gently and at your own pace. When you are both ready, you can turn towards other models to go even further! Sex toys in a relationship: what if it is simply a fear of the unknown?  Sometimes, the reluctance has nothing to do with performance or jealousy. It simply comes down to… the unknown. It is only human. As soon as something steps outside the familiar frame, the mind conjures a thousand scenarios: What if I don't know how to use it? What if it feels strange? What if I do something wrong? What if we're disappointed? Sex toys still carry a somewhat mysterious image, almost intimidating. One imagines them technical, complicated, reserved for the initiated. In reality, they are above all designed to be intuitive and playful. What matters, when broaching the subject with your partner, is precisely to defuse this pressure. This is not a goal to be achieved, still less a performance to pull off. No one expects anything. There is no result to be obtained. You can simply present the idea as a shared curiosity. A way of saying: "I don't know this world very well either, but I would love for us to discover it together." This approach changes everything. It transforms the object into shared territory for exploration, rather than an accessory laden with expectations. Searching for your first sex toy can in itself become a complete experience. Browsing through the different categories, comparing models, discussing what intrigues or attracts you. All of this is already part of the game. And if you would like some reassurance, there are now many educational resources available: user reviews, detailed product descriptions, the specialist blogs, the podcasts on sexuality, FAQs that address the most frequently asked questions. There is no obligation to know everything immediately. Discovery is part of the pleasure. The keys to a successful conversation about introducing sex toys  Choosing the right moment  The moment you choose to broach the subject matters a great deal. A conversation about intimacy requires a degree of emotional availability. If one of you is tired, stressed or preoccupied, there is every chance the message will not land as you had hoped. The ideal is to choose a calm moment, when you are both relaxed. A quiet evening at home, a moment of conversation after dinner, a walk where the exchange flows naturally. Some situations, on the other hand, are less favourable: just after making love, just after an argument, in a moment of vulnerability or tension, in a deeply intense phase of seduction. Why? Because the conversation could be misinterpreted. After making love, your partner might think something was unsatisfying. After an argument, the conversation could turn defensive. The best approach remains a neutral moment, when you simply feel like having a conversation. The idea is not to make it a grand, solemn speech, but to open a natural conversation. An idea slipped into the exchange, a shared curiosity, a reflection on sexuality. Like so many subjects within a relationship, it is often simply a question of timing. Exploring the shared benefits of sex toys as a couple  When you introduce the idea of a sex toy as a couple, it is essential to make clear that this is not a personal project. This is not something you want for yourself. It is something you would like to explore together. Simply explain what draws you to this idea. Perhaps the desire to discover new sensations, to bring a little spark to your intimacy, to step gently outside your routine. Perhaps also curiosity about a world you have yet to fully explore. Your partner knows you. They know how you work. If you explain your approach with sincerity, it will be much easier for your other half to understand your intention. All the more so given that sex toys are now widely mainstream. A study conducted by IFOP indicates, for example, that 69% of French people who have already used a sex toy together feel that it had a positive impact on their sexual pleasure. This figure simply serves as a reminder: this is not a marginal or selfish pursuit. For many couples, it is simply a new way of nurturing their intimacy. Respecting your partner's pace and concerns  A successful conversation is never a monologue. When you broach this subject, it is essential to give your partner space to express themselves. Their questions, their doubts, their reactions are all part of the process. Perhaps the conversation will unfold exactly as you imagined, or perhaps it will take an unexpected turn. Your partner might be curious, enthusiastic, surprised, or on the contrary a little hesitant at first. All of this is perfectly normal. What matters is listening without trying to convince at all costs. The goal is not to win a debate but to open a dialogue. It is also possible that your partner may not know how to respond in the moment. Some ideas simply need time to find their way. Sometimes the conversation stops there… and returns a few days or weeks later. And this is often how discussions around intimacy evolve within a relationship. In any case, avoid putting on any pressure. Do not set deadlines, do not keep bringing the subject back up. Simply let the idea exist. Your partner might very well come back to you later with curiosity. Take it step by step, together  If your partner is open to the idea, there is no need to rush. One of the worst approaches would be to arrive at the conversation with a sex toy already purchased, placed on the table as a fait accompli. You could for example browse a specialist site together, discover the different categories, discuss what intrigues or attracts you. Some models might raise a smile, others will spark genuine curiosity. And that is perfectly fine. It is also possible that your partner would prefer to start gently. For example: try a sex toy on yourself first, then share how it felt with your partner to help them picture the experience, trying a simple accessory such as a vibrating cockring (penis ring), easy to use, What matters most is respecting your shared pace. Sometimes couples even begin with softer products: a sensory lubricant, a massage oil, a body paint… These are not strictly speaking sex toys, but these sexual cosmetics already offer a gentle way to step outside the everyday. Using a sex toy as a couple: the key to shared pleasure  Deepening the bond within the relationship  Discovering a sex toy together can become a truly shared experience. You are discovering new territory, hand in hand. You learn to communicate differently, to express what you enjoy, what intrigues you, what makes you laugh as well. Because yes, exploration can be fun, awkward at times, surprising more often than not. And that is precisely what creates shared memories. The sex toy then becomes a kind of shared little secret. Your codes, your rules, your own way of playing with intimacy. Some couples' sex toys have indeed been designed with this spirit of togetherness in mind. For example, remote-controlled objects such as vibrating eggs which allow one partner to control the other's vibrations, sometimes in the most unexpected of situations. This dynamic rests on trust. You are quite literally letting the other person take control of your pleasure. And this trust, when experienced within a safe and complicit space, profoundly deepens the bond between partners. Your intimacy becomes a space for exploration that belongs to you alone. Exploring new sensations through couples' sex toys Sex toys are also your gateway to new sensations.  The human body is remarkably sensitive. Yet, in the rhythm of daily life, you may tend to repeat the same gestures, the same rhythms, the same positions. Sex toys simply offer a way to break free from these patterns. At first, you can keep things very gentle: exploring certain erogenous zones, trying different intensities, playing with rhythms. Then, with time and trust, some couples choose to go a little further. Certain accessories allow, for example, both partners to be stimulated at the same time, to explore new areas of pleasure or to discover entirely new sensations. For many couples who take the plunge, the goal is not to radically transform their sex life. It is more about breaking the routine. Sex toys bring a playful dimension, almost exploratory, to moments of intimacy. As medical journalist Rica Étienne highlights, couples who successfully integrate these objects into their relationship generally do so through a deep quality of mutual listening. What matters is not the object itself, but the way in which partners communicate around pleasure. And sometimes, this exploration opens the door to new desires: discovering simultaneous sensations, exploring other areas of the body, or simply prolonging moments of pleasure. In some cases, couples' vibrators allow, for example, different stimulations to be combined, so that both partners can enjoy the experience at the same time. Once again, there is no obligation to go in this direction. Every couple writes their own story. At heart, introducing a sex toy into your relationship is not a revolution. It is rather an invitation to speak more freely about your desires, to be curious about one another, to keep on exploring even after years together. And perhaps the real secret lies not in the object itself, but in the dialogue it opens between you.   

According to a Discurv study published in 2025, the threesome ranks among the most widespread fantasies in France, particularly among women (40% of female respondents in a European IFOP survey). And for good reason: it is one of the finest ways to step outside pre-established sexual scripts, to let desire speak without filter and to completely reinvent the codes of sexuality. A threesome isn't reserved for couples. Single people, heterosexual couples, queer, lesbian, gay — it doesn't matter. What counts is that open-mindedness, that curiosity, that shared desire to explore together what three bodies can create. On paper, it's thrilling. In real life? It's more complicated. How does it really unfold? How do you ensure everyone feels at ease? How do you find the right person — or people — for your threesome? Here is the guide you've been waiting for, for those who want to take the plunge. How to bring up a threesome with your partner? The right setting for the conversation If you are in a relationship and you raise this question, one rule applies: context is (almost) everything. Don't start this conversation after an argument, during a moment of tension, and above all not in the midst of intimacy (or immediately after). Raw desire is not the right moment to talk about shared intimacy. Create a calm, neutral moment : a quiet dinner for two, a walk, an instant where you feel connected without sex being the immediate backdrop. The atmosphere must be conducive to trust — the kind where you sense that the other person is truly receptive, open, not on the defensive. When you raise the subject, be precise about your intentions. Don't leave your partner imagining the worst. Tell them clearly what excites you: is it the thrill of sharing your intimacy? The possibility of discovering new sensations? The desire to breathe new life into your shared world? Express that this is a shared project, an adventure you want to experience together — not a veiled criticism of your relationship or your current sexuality. If you are single, you won't have this prior conversation with a partner, but the importance of establishing a clear framework with those who will take part is no less significant. Threesome: the points that must absolutely be addressed Before taking the plunge, certain questions must be laid on the table, for all three participants: Context and logistics. Where? When? At yours or elsewhere? For a first time, you need to be prepared physically and psychologically. Total improvisation can create unnecessary anxiety. Talk about the location, the timing, the way everything will be organised in practice. What you are willing to do or not do. Which positions appeal to you? Where do you draw the line? What you're happy to explore, and what is off-limits. No judgement, but total clarity. You don't want to be intimate with a close friend? Say so. Your fears and reservations. Be honest about what worries you. Feeling afraid of being left out, jealous, or inadequate is perfectly normal. Naming these concerns is how you disarm them. A threesome only succeeds when all three people feel involved, valued, and never overlooked. The relational context. Who is the third person? A friend, a stranger found online, a colleague you're fond of? The dynamic will not be the same depending on whether a pre-existing connection exists or not. Discuss what this implies relationally for each person involved. The before and the after. Do you stay together as three afterwards? Do you find yourselves as a couple again? Do you sleep together? When do you speak next? Don't leave these details unclear. Many disappointments arise from unspoken expectations about what happens once the bodies have parted. And above all: consent is the absolute priority for all three people. It is the foundation upon which everything rests. What reservations might your partner have? When a threesome is mentioned, certain fears come up regularly, and they are entirely legitimate. Knowing them means anticipating them. The fear of being left out is the most common : "What if I don't feel involved in what's happening? What if the other two focus on each other, leaving me on the sidelines?" It is vital to discuss this beforehand. During intimacy, everyone must be attentive to ensuring that no one is left out. Jealousy. Even in an open relationship, seeing your partner with someone else can trigger unexpected emotions. Some find it exciting, others may find it very difficult. Talk about it openly together before taking the plunge. The fear of performance. "What if it doesn't go well? What if I'm not up to it?" Let go of that worry right now. Sex is fun, not a competition. No one is there to judge, compare or evaluate. You are there to feel good and to do yourself some good. That's all. How to find a threesome? Talking to those around you It may very well be that within your circle, someone attracts you: a friend, an acquaintance you see from time to time and with whom the connection could move to the next level. If you're considering this option, be extremely clear about the boundaries. The last thing you want is for this intimate experience to damage a precious friendship. The more explicit, the better. Ask the same questions as you would of a stranger, perhaps even with greater clarity, since an enduring relationship depends on it. If no one in your usual circle feels right, go out, frequent bars, create connection, a spark.  Pay attention to the small gestures, the glances, the moments of mutual tenderness. Create a sexual tension and observe how each person responds. Sometimes, attraction blooms where you least expect it. Dedicated apps Classic dating apps (Tinder, Bumble) can work, but you'll come across a huge number of profiles that aren't necessarily looking for a threesome. If you go that route, be clear about your intentions in your bio. Be direct: "We're looking for someone for a threesome" saves time and avoids misunderstandings. Even better: dedicated apps. Here are our recommendations: Feeld : one of the best known, designed to explore all fantasies without judgement. Nous Libertins : for couples or individuals seeking shared experiences. Le club app : an application designed for libertines FetLife : if you imagine your threesome with a more BDSM edge. These apps save you precious time. Everyone there shares the same explicit intention. Look for profiles with experience, who understand the codes, who inspire trust. Take your time. Don't rush towards the first interesting profile. The finest experiences are born from patience and intuition. Libertine evenings Libertine evenings or libertine clubs are the real-life equivalent of dating apps, but with cocktails, music, and atmosphere. Attendees arrive knowing that the door is open to encounters, exchanges, perhaps direct action on the night. You can go alone or as a couple. It's a place for connection and exploration, a space where desire can be expressed freely, without shame. Finding the right evening or the right venue is less straightforward than it seems, especially if you're new to it. Word of mouth remains your greatest ally : you can be assured the evening will be of quality, organised by serious people who take consent seriously. Before going, check: the theme, the average age of attendees, the reputation, the consent guarantees, the venue. You want to be somewhere that inspires trust. Once there, it's like a bar, a spa or a regular evening, but infused with eroticism : the outfits are bolder, the music more sensual, the atmosphere more charged. You can let yourself go completely — dance, kiss, explore. The libertine clubs of the 1970s had exactly that energy: a place where sexual freedom was expressed openly and without guilt. A threesome: how does it unfold?  Three bodies, three different rhythms. What takes ten minutes for one may take twenty for another and forty for the last. At 1969 we believe that sex toys are not so much crutches, but rather tools of synchronisation : a variable-intensity stimulator allows each person to heighten their pleasure without rushing the others. A shared remote transforms the variations into a collective game. Furthermore, before taking the plunge, test certain practices as a couple beforehand : double penetration, for example. You will approach the threesome more serenely, knowing what works for you. The secret? Not to seek perfect synchrony, but to honour each person's own rhythm. What positions work for a threesome  With three bodies, the configurations are endless. Here are a few ideas based on anatomies and desires, to give you a direction by incorporating a sex toy. Woman / Woman / Man Configuration 1 : vaginal penetration + stimulation between women The man penetrates one of the women. The other draws closer and both women caress, pleasure and kiss one another. The woman being penetrated experiences double excitement: the man's penetration and the contact with her partner.  For this configuration, a clitoral stimulator with multiple uses allows the woman being penetrated or the second woman to receive clitoral stimulation. She can use it herself or her partner can do so for her. Configuration 2 : Oral pleasure + masturbation with an air pulse stimulator The man receives oral pleasure from one of the women. To heighten the pleasure for everyone, you can use an arousing and stimulating lip gloss that awakens sensations and creates additional thrills. Meanwhile, the other woman receives attentive stimulation with a pulsed-air clitoral stimulator, guided by the man or by his partner. The pulsed-air stimulator creates a sensation of waves that gradually intensifies pleasure, building a parallel crescendo: as the man's arousal rises through the act of oral pleasure, the women reach the same level of desire through clitoral stimulation. All three bodies find their natural synchronisation. Configuration 3: vaginal penetration + masturbation with a realistic dildo The man penetrates one of the women. The other woman can also be penetrated at the same time thanks to a realistic dildo . Either the man or one of the women can stimulate her partner to create sensations of double penetration without the third body being directly involved. The women can also penetrate one another. A double dong (that long sex toy which divides into two ends) allows both women to penetrate one another simultaneously, enjoying the closeness and each other's movements. The man savours the view, can caress them or stimulate them in other ways. Man / Woman / Man Configuration 1 : one man penetrates, the other receives One of the men penetrates the woman vaginally or anally. The other man is pleasured manually, receives oral attention or simply lets himself be caressed by one of the two partners. A vibrating cockring helps to delay and intensify the pleasure of the one receiving stimulation. The vibration heightens sensations without being too intrusive. Configuration 2 : double penetration This is often the central fantasy in this configuration: the woman receives both men simultaneously, one vaginally, the other anally (or according to her preferences). A cockring or penis ring can also be used to maintain an erection for longer. Consider an adjustable cockring such as the Hero Ring if you're unsure which model to choose: made from soft medical-grade silicone, it suits all sizes and all penis shapes. An intimate lubricant is absolutely essential here: it's the secret to everything unfolding with comfort and ease. The Mixgliss Max range is ideal for accompanying an intense and prolonged experience. It's a reliable choice for your threesome. To prepare the woman for double penetration, the couple can use a dildo or a harness such as the Desirous to practise this rather intense experience in advance. Configuration 3 : vaginal penetration + oral pleasure One of the men penetrates the woman vaginally. The other man receives oral pleasure from her. The woman is at the centre, double stimulation, double sensation. You can add arousing products for oral pleasure to intensify the experience. Man / Man / Man Configuration 1: simultaneous penetration One man penetrates the second, who penetrates the third. A chain of pleasure, a sensation of bodily continuity. Think about using an anal sex toy to prepare. Configuration 2 : penetration + manual stimulation One penetrates the other while the third pleasures himself or with a masturbator. Configuration 3 : penetration + oral pleasure One penetrates the second while the third finds pleasure through oral intimacy. Each body holds its place, receives its own particular attention. Woman / Woman / Woman Configuration 1 : multi-stimulation masturbation The three women caress one another with their fingers, tongues or a sex toy such as a rabbit vibrator designed for dual stimulation (clitoral and penetration). One or several sex toys can pass between them, each discovering them at her own pace. Configuration 2 : the vibrating egg as a collective game In a three-woman configuration, the vibrating egg can create an interesting game: one wears it while the other two decide when to activate it, or each can wear one and mix up the remotes. Each woman experiences this freedom of hands: caressing the other without interruption, exploring, playing with intensities. It is a form of shared power and pleasure where no one is left out. Configuration 3 : harness + double stimulation One of the women wears a harness with a dildo or a strap-on and penetrates one of her partners. The Unique lingerie harness can accommodate one or two dildos for double penetration. It is perfect for pegging, vaginal penetration and double penetration. The woman being penetrated can also pleasure the third woman: each one gives and receives at the same time.  The essential accessories for a threesome Before embarking on a group experience, equip yourself with the right accessories. Here is what your kit should contain for a successful first threesome: Intimate lubricant : this is the absolute priority. With three bodies, intimacy can last longer, feel more intense, create more friction. A good lubricant dramatically improves comfort and allows everything to unfold smoothly. Water-based is essential if you are using silicone sex toys. In a configuration with at least one man and one woman : A multi-stimulation sex toy such as the Man Wand Edgy , a powerful 2-in-1 Wand with an interchangeable head. It allows stimulation of erogenous zones, as well as the frenulum, the glans, and the perineum. A perfect all-in-one for your threesome. For configurations with at least two women: A dildo or vibrator that allows for simultaneous penetration. For configurations with at least one man : a cockring to prolong and intensify pleasure. For configurations involving double penetration : Test the practice in advance with a dildo Take the time to carefully compare these products, to discover what would truly resonate with you. The object must appeal to you personally. Your partners must also feel perfectly at ease with what will be used on their bodies. Our tips for a threesome that goes well Let go of expectations. Sex is fun. Not an exam, not a competition, not a question of performance. You are three people who want to feel good together. Laugh if something doesn't work, if the timing is off, if a position is uncomfortable. Laughter is the best release valve. Communicate. Before, during, after. During intimacy, say what you enjoy, what feels good, what isn't working. An uncomfortable position? Say so. You'd like more contact? Whisper it. Real conversations in the moment are a form of intimacy in their own right. They create a synchronisation between bodies. After the experience, take time to talk about what you felt. Unexpected emotions may surface. Allow yourselves the freedom to explore them without guilt. Let go of prejudice and preconceived ideas. There is no "right way" to have a threesome. There is your way. You want to explore at your own pace, with your own preferences, according to what puts you at ease. What matters is what all three of you desire. Three bodies. Three desires. Three stories that intertwine for a night. It's not complicated if you take the time to talk, to listen, to anticipate. A threesome is not an end in itself — it's a playground. And if this experience becomes a warm, shared, unforgettable memory? You will have achieved what truly matters.

My name is Laura, I blew out my 32nd candle this year, and I have never felt so at home in my own body.  I grew up in the north of France, in a rather strict family. As a child, I wanted for nothing — except perhaps a little freedom and lightness. Since I was little, I have been passionate about books — they are the way I found to escape the everyday and dare to step outside the frame. Books truly taught me everything: about myself, about relationships, about seduction and even about sexuality. It was a subject I never broached with my parents, and inevitably, from the age of 15 or 16, I needed answers.  I devoured love novels, guides and graphic novels on the subject. My personal favourite at the time? The Flame and the Flower by Kathleen E. Woodiwiss, published in 1972: a classic of historical romance that I recommend to every woman.  After a degree in communications, I immediately wanted to start working. For weeks, I approached every bookshop in my city until someone gave me my chance. I was barely 20, and it was at that moment that I also began to flirt with men. For real, I mean — beyond my own mind and fantasies. Before that, I think I never truly felt I had permission to. After 2 or 3 genuinely disappointing encounters, I met Thomas at a party. The chemistry between us was immediate. The conversation flowed, the attraction was there.  Less than 2 years after we met, I fell pregnant. We were using contraception, so it wasn't really planned, but I had no hesitation whatsoever.  Mathilde's first months were inevitably difficult and exhausting. She took a very long time to sleep through the night — she was a baby who demanded a great deal of attention. For my part, I was prepared for this reality; I had anticipated this change of pace, but I think Thomas had not truly grasped what becoming a parent actually entailed.  At first, I didn't hold it against him at all. After all, we were young, he too wanted to invest his energy in his career, and he always took care of me. He was doing his best, truly. But it's true that exhaustion overwhelms everything. Inevitably, our intimacy suffered, as did my libido. I no longer had the mental space or the energy to devote to our sex life. In the first year, we couldn't even find a moment together for dinner or a film. When I sensed that he was pulling away, I took the initiative. I finally dared to ask for help from our friends and family so they could look after Mathilde at least once a week. I threw myself into it to rekindle the flame: romantic dinners, flirtatious messages, fine lingerie, playful games… I tried everything to breathe new life into our intimacy. At first, it worked reasonably well, but I was always the only one taking initiative. Being a mother, a bookseller, a woman and a lover… I could no longer give a hundred percent to all these roles. Thomas was growing distant, and nothing I put in place was enough to keep him. I could see that he was somewhere else, that he no longer wanted to invest in our relationship. I came to realise that we had become housemates, co-parents at best. I was no longer desirable in his eyes. That realisation hurt me deeply, especially after all the efforts I had made to save our relationship.  Our daughter wasn't even two years old when I did what I thought I would never do: go through his phone while he was in the shower. I don't know whether it was exhaustion, fear, or simply instinct, but I found what I had been dreading. A conversation with a woman I didn't know, going back several months. Messages, photos, words… All that attention that was no longer meant for me.  I read it, reread it, again and again. And it was devastating. Not only because he was betraying me, but because I felt invisible. Replaced. Humiliated. Even though I know now that it makes no sense, I compared myself to her, I analysed every detail, every photo. I confronted him. He didn't deny it. He didn't fight. He didn't even try to hold on to me. He let me file for divorce. He signed the papers. And it was over.  After that, I disappeared a little myself. I became simply a mother. Efficient, organised, always there for my daughter, but no longer a woman at all. My body, my desire — as though erased. Even self-pleasure had become impossible for me, as if my mind had closed that door. I went back to work, met people, tried to rebuild myself. But it was never enough. I felt empty, and guilty for feeling empty. Six months after the divorce, I finally spoke about it to a friend. She was seeing a sex therapist as part of couples therapy, and she gave me her contact details. I made an appointment — partly out of curiosity, partly out of desperation. On the day of the appointment, I could barely speak without dissolving into tears. I told her everything that was weighing on my heart: the divorce, the betrayal, my exhaustion, my anger, my shame… She looked at me, patiently, and then she said something I will never forget: « You have the right to become a woman again. You have the right to be modest, and you also have the right to pleasure. » Just that. Three sentences. And yet it hit me like a wave. My husband had stolen nothing from me. My body, my pleasure — they were still mine. For the first time in months, I felt seen, whole, legitimate in my desire. She explained that one could be modest, that one could take pleasure without shame, that pleasure was not a betrayal, nor a luxury, nor a whim. That I could be a mother, work, love… and experience pleasure fully. That small shift was enormous. As if someone had given me back the right to breathe for myself, to think of myself. Before I left, she had scribbled on a post-it: 1969 And the name of a clitoral massager: the Wand « Start here, » she said. « Take it gently. Come back afterwards. » I ordered. The parcel sat on my bedside table for an entire week. I looked at it — a little wary, a little excited, a little ashamed. I was waiting for the right moment to open it.  Then one weekend, Mathilde was at her father's, and I dared.  At first, I simply ran the toy over my skin to explore my arms, my thighs, my stomach… rediscovering forgotten areas of my body. I was no longer used to touching myself just for me. And it was delicious. I hadn't known that the inside of my thighs was so sensitive — I had never taken the time to discover my body in my past relationships. Neither had my partners, for that matter. Then I brought the Wand close to my clitoris. I hesitated for a moment, heart beating fast, as though I were about to cross a forbidden boundary. I switched on the gentlest vibration, and I breathed — slowly, again and again — as if to reassure myself that I had every right to be there and that I was doing nothing wrong. And then, I combined the Wand with the caress of my body. The sensation… I had never felt anything like it. A warmth that flooded everything, an immense release, as though every corner of my body had been holding something for years that it finally had the right to let go. At first, it was quick, overwhelming. I didn't know where to place my hands, how to breathe through a sensation that rose so swiftly. And then I began to listen to my body. To breathe with the rhythm, to draw out the pleasure, to explore by combining touch and vibration. I didn't even want penetration — everything was perfect just as it was.  Every little pulse became a discovery, a shiver, a tremor I had never taken the time to feel. Multiple orgasms, control over the rise of desire — a world I believed was closed to me, which opened in an instant. When I heard my friends talk about multiple orgasms, I thought they were exaggerating a little — I didn't think it was actually possible. How wrong I was.  I don't feel ready to meet someone, but I feel alive and connected to my femininity, more attuned to my desire. My libido is awakening, gently, and with it, a part of me I thought was lost. I went back to see my therapist a few weeks later. We spoke about what I had discovered, about the pleasure I had finally allowed myself to feel. She encouraged me to keep exploring, to relearn my body, to listen to my desires. Today, I am not necessarily searching for love at any cost, but I know that I can gift myself pleasure, take time for myself, and savour my sensations. I want to keep exploring, to try new pleasure objects — it's true that the Rabbit has been catching my eye.. I have only one desire: to enjoy this newfound freedom, just for myself.  

Libido is neither an on/off switch nor a purely hormonal mechanism. It fluctuates, transforms, and sometimes falls silent. Stress, menstrual cycles, mental health, relationship tension, postpartum changes, menopause… desire is shaped by many factors, far beyond clichés about male or female libido. How can you understand these shifts? How can you navigate a libido gap without weakening your bond? And above all, how can you gently reawaken a sleeping desire? A complete guide to bringing the body, attentiveness and sensuality back to the heart of your intimacy.

What if orgasm were no longer a destination, but a horizon you brush against without surrendering to it just yet? Edging — or orgasm control — is the art of slowing down, holding back, and letting pleasure build so it can be felt more fully. Solo or with a partner, this practice invites you to savour every shiver, explore the plateau phase and transform tension into ecstasy. Discover how to practice edging step by step and awaken a more conscious, slower, infinitely more powerful intimacy.

Want to spice up your intimate life and deepen your connection as a couple? A sex toy in a heterosexual relationship is neither a rival nor a substitute — it is an ally of shared pleasure. Clitoral stimulator, vibrating ring, couples' vibrator… Discover how to choose the right model, introduce it with care and transform your intimate moments into a richer, more connected and more liberating experience.