Tips to reignite your libido

Among the questions that come up most often with our customer service team, one recurs very regularly: how do you reignite your libido? Many people experience significant fluctuations in desire, finding themselves suddenly disconnected from their own sensuality, without really understanding what is slipping away within their body, their mind, or between them.

And the first thing to know — the one that should reassure you immediately — is that it is completely normal. Desire breathes like everything that lives. It rises and falls, it sleeps and wakes, it waits for us to come and seek it out in the folds of our too-full lives.

This fluctuation affects men, women, and non-binary people alike. It can arise at any moment in life: after a birth, a separation, a change of job, or simply because the years pass and the body transforms.

Don't feel guilty. This dip in libido is not a failure. It is a signal, an invitation to listen to yourself with greater care.

That said, we understand that you need to understand what makes these fluctuations dance or disappear and, above all, that you wish to find your way back to a fulfilling intimacy. That is why the 1969 team shares its recommendations — born from listening to those who trust us — to gently rekindle that inner fire that belongs to you.

Low libido: the right questions to ask yourself

Do you have enough time for intimacy?

Your libido does not exist in a vacuum. It is the result of a combination of factors — certainly — but above all it needs two things: time and mental space.

Between work, children, family obligations, errands, unread emails, and calls to return — the mental load weighs heavily on your shoulders throughout the day and follows you to bed at night. 

It's normal, but it's not inevitable.

It is up to you to dedicate time to your intimacy. Deliberately, consciously, without guilt. Whether as a couple or alone — because yes, masturbation counts, it counts enormously. It is an act of love toward yourself, a ritual of reconnection with your own body. Block out an evening in your diary if need be. Your pleasure is worth it.

How do you feel in your body?

Then, ask yourself this essential question: how do you feel in your own skin?

1. It's not only the psychological and emotional dimension that affects libido. Physical health plays a major role. Certain gynecological conditions (endometriosis, PCOS) directly impact desire. The same applies to certain penile dysfunctions. If you suspect a health issue, don't hesitate to consult a professional — appropriate care can transform your sex life. Have you considered Kegel balls?

2. And then there are the major stages of life. Menopause in women, andropause in men — these transitions reshape the body profoundly. Libido often takes a hit, because sex hormones (estrogen, progesterone in women, testosterone in men) waver and transform. Fortunately, treatments exist for a comprehensive management of symptoms, of which libido is a part. A conversation with a healthcare professional can make a great difference.

3. There is also the question of insecurities — that relationship we maintain with our own body. According to a study conducted by Ifop on the famous "summer body", 1 in 2 French people dislike their body, with a marked tendency among women: 60% say they are affected by insecurities. And this truly affects desire. If you are not comfortable with your nudity, with intimacy, with the very idea of being seen, loved, touched in your vulnerability, desire withdraws. It waits for you to rediscover it.

Does your intimate life suit you?

Here is another question, often unspoken yet burning: does your intimate life truly suit you?

The rhythm, the frequency, the way things unfold between you (or with yourself), the positions that become rigid rituals, the lack of conversation around sex, the absence of genuine emotional comfort — all of these elements can create a silent mental block that quietly strips away your desire.

Because sex, when it doesn't truly suit us, when it leaves us indifferent or places us in a posture that doesn't feel like ourselves, becomes a chore. And the moment it becomes a chore, we avoid it — consciously or not.

It's important to be sincerely honest with yourself, but also to talk about it with your partner in order to move things in the right direction. Often, it's simple details that change everything: a new position, a new accessory, a new rhythm, an honest conversation beneath the sheets.

Discomfort during sex: how does it affect your libido?

And then there is this reality, often left unspoken: if you experience pain, you develop an apprehension.

In women, dyspareunia, vaginal dryness. In men, erectile difficulties. In others, chronic pain, a persistent discomfort. You dread intimacy, an enormous pressure builds on your shoulders, you tense up, making it impossible to truly relax. When the moment comes, your sensations slip away. You cannot fully let go and find pleasure.

In the end, you have less sex because you are avoiding it.

And so the cycle sets in: the less we return to intimacy, the less libido stirs. Desire must be tended like a rare plant — it needs to be revisited, cultivated gently. Rediscovering your intimacy, alone or as a couple, is the way to reawaken that inner fire, to nourish your sensual world, and to keep your body from becoming a mere functional tool.

It is also an opportunity to remind yourself that your body is not merely a tool for working and getting through the day. It is an object of desire, of pleasure, of sensation. It deserves to be revisited with tenderness.

Our tips for reigniting your libido

Immersing yourself in a sensual atmosphere

For your next intimate session, whether alone or as a couple, think about setting the scene and the atmosphere.

This is what will awaken your sensuality and your libido. It happens through:

• A sensual playlist. Music that speaks to you, that relaxes you, that makes you breathe differently. No need for clichés — what resonates with you is all that matters.

• Soft, dim lighting. Bright overhead lights or harsh neon: absolutely not. Candles, a subtle lamp, complete darkness if you prefer it. Shadows have their own colors.

• Things to eat that you love. Strawberries, chocolate, whipped cream if you enjoy playing with flavors. Or simply a warm cup of tea — whatever soothes you.

• Some massage candles and accessories to join the experience. A two-person massage session, beautifully scented oils, pleasant textures against the skin.

What matters is creating a disconnection from everyday life. You step out of your usual role, you allow yourself to enter the more sensual part of yourself — the part that can afford to breathe, to slow down, to inhabit your body differently. It is a shift in posture, literally and emotionally.

Giving more time to foreplay

Foreplay is often underestimated and rather poorly named.

By "foreplay", we generally mean all the sensual acts or gestures that are not penetration: caresses, lingering kisses, massages, clitoral stimulation — everything that creates a gentle rise of desire. But in truth, these moments are a fully integral and central part of intimacy, not merely an introduction.

And here is something that isn't said often enough: a sexual encounter can be deeply satisfying and fully complete without penetration. We simply need to refuse the expectations that made us believe it was THE necessary conclusion.

Well-guided foreplay is an excellent way to reconnect with your libido without rushing in too forcefully. You allow desire to build gradually, perhaps discovering erogenous zones you weren't aware of, returning to presence, to touch, to what being truly alive really means.

And if your foreplay feels a little dull in your current routine? Don't hesitate to enrich it with accessories: body painting, sensual massage oils, or even simply taking the time to massage yourself while exploring your erogenous zones. It's a way to stimulate your arousal AND take care of yourself at the same time.

Returning to sensation

If your libido has fallen asleep, it is often because you have forgotten what your body is capable of — the sensations it can offer, the richness of what it can create.

Before embarking on more complex explorations, return to pure sensation. Reconnect with your skin as though for the very first time.

The arousing and stimulating gels are your essential allies for this. They are not a gimmick — they are sensory tools that awaken dormant areas, creating a new experience on familiar skin. They work according to different approaches, tailored to your pleasure zones and desires.

For oral sex 

The clitoris and the penis have a complete sensory universe. Specialized gels for clitoral stimulation or penile stimulation for oral sex offer varied sensations: some create a delicate warmth, others a refreshing coolness, and others heighten the sensitivity of this remarkably receptive area. Apply the Oral Sex Balm generously to your lips before performing cunnilingus or fellatio. Sensations are multiplied tenfold.

For the G-spot and vaginal stimulation

For those who enjoy penetration, G-spot stimulating gels add an entirely new dimension. They heighten the sensitivity of the internal vaginal walls, particularly around the G-spot. The Orgasm Rainfall G-spot stimulant is a must-have: its hot/cold effect accompanies you through foreplay and penetration.

For penile stimulation

Specialized gels for the penis intensify the responsiveness of this hypersensitive area. The Pulse Me Down penis stimulating gel delivers a gentle warming sensation to enhance the quality and duration of arousal. For those rediscovering their pleasure or wanting to intensify their sensations, this is a fascinating territory to explore — an invitation to slow down and truly feel.

For the P-spot and prostate stimulation

For men and people with a penis, the prostate (P-spot) is a largely unexplored universe of pleasure. Stimulating gels heighten the sensitivity of this area for an exploration rich in discoveries. The P-spot Release Me stimulant was designed specifically for this: it will quickly become your best ally.

Using stimulants wisely

The important thing is to explore at your own pace, without any expectation of performance. Start with a small amount, observe how your body responds, increase if it resonates with you. Each application is a conversation with your own sensuality. What works one day may differ on another, and that is perfectly normal. Make your body a laboratory of sensations, a space where curiosity takes precedence over urgency.

How do you break out of the routine?

According to a survey conducted by Discurv in June 2025, more than 70% of French people consider their sex lives "standard" or routine. And you know what? That's one of the main reasons libido falls asleep.

When intimacy becomes predictable, when every gesture and position is known, when there is no longer any surprise, the mind disconnects. We shift into autopilot. And there it is: desire quietly fades, replaced by habit.

Here is how we break out of that rut:

• Try other sources of arousal. Erotic audio content, sensual reading, tastefully crafted videos. There is wonderful content out there — erotic without being vulgar — that can awaken your imagination.

• Read the blogs of erotic websites, in particular personal accounts. You'll discover that other people also dream, explore, and dare. It normalizes and inspires.

• Change your setting, your atmosphere. Not always the same bed, the same time of day, the same routine. A romantic weekend away, a stolen afternoon, a new place altogether — it creates a welcome jolt.

• Break the taboos. Talk about sex freely — with your partner, with close friends if you feel comfortable. Intimacy is a subject that concerns everyone: it is by speaking openly about it that it becomes less shameful, less frightening.

• Allow yourself to be the one who initiates — who suggests, who shows up. That shift changes a great deal.

What emerges from all of this is the importance of being connected to yourself and truly taking the time to listen to your own needs.

Scanning and assessing yourself honestly to identify what is holding you back: is it mental, physical, relational, or contextual? Low libido is never just a symptom. It speaks. It tells you something. Listen to it with gentleness and curiosity, rather than with guilt.

Lubricant: your libido's discreet ally 

Lubricant is not a luxury option. It's a key element for reigniting libido.

Don't hesitate to use it during your intimate moments: during solo masturbation, during vaginal penetrative sex, or when you pleasure yourself with a sextoy.

Lubricant considerably improves comfort. You can take your time without pain, without unpleasant friction. It's a precious product if you experience vaginal dryness or have apprehensions about penetration.

It's a true libido catalyst — it removes the barrier of stress and discomfort that still holds you back.

Our advice: take the time to compare the different formulas to find the one that suits your needs. Water-based, oil-based, silicone-based — it can be difficult to navigate.

Here is a quick guide:

Formula	The pros	The cons
Water-based	Compatible with all materials (silicone, glass, steel).  Easy to clean.  Natural sensation.	May dry out over time, requiring reapplication.  Less stable.
Silicone-based	Long-lasting, stays slippery. Smooth sensation.  Good for anal sex.	Incompatible with silicone sextoys.  More difficult to clean.
Oil-based	Rich, natural sensation. Long-lasting	May stain. Incompatible with condoms. Not recommended for use with sextoys.

 

Ultimately, to understand your variations in libido, you must return to the body and the messages it quietly whispers to you.

Take the time to scan and assess yourself honestly to identify what is holding you back: is it mental, physical, relational, or contextual?

Low libido is never just a symptom. It speaks — it's telling you something.

It's up to you to listen.